When you've gone over something AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN like I have, certain questions get answered, OTHERS SPRING UP! You mind plays tricks on you, YOU PLAY TRICKS BACK! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps on knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting..."

Friday, February 24, 2006

rough patcha road

so i'm kinda in an icky part of life right now. just finished directing this big show at Theater for the New City. I did a good job on it, if I do say so myself. It was a lot of work and not an easy project. So now that it's closed I'm feeling, well, bad. Since this one was such a toughie, I wasn't expecting this let down, but I what I'm walking around with is the feeling that I just moved a mountain and nothing in my life changed. i don't know what i was expecting but this deafening nothingness and feeling of futility is definitely not it. one of my friends couldn't understand it when i told him i didn't want to talk about it the fifth or sixth time he told me he'd really wanted to see my show. now he's mad at me. he has a need to make everything about him so i shouldn't be surprised. but i guess somehow i thought life would be different and it just isn't. i'm trying my best to get this next show organized. it's supposed to be a simple remount of a show i did last year but already it's turned into a major pain in my ass. i have to find a new musical director and the venue only confirmed half my dates so that's what i planned around and now i find we're supposed to cover all of them. plus this is for my friend who's mad at me because he didn't come see my show and i won't tell him it's okay's company so i have even less motivation to put it together. same shit. different day. different show. different year. i guess i feel like a different person, so i kind of want things to be different for me. i guess i can respond and act differently. in the words of Spanky McFarland, "I'll eat it, but I won't like it."
will finish my second leg warmer tonight while watching movies. am making the stitch n bitch nation leg warmers for my groovy friend maitee in purple and chartruese. photos to come. i promise!

Thursday, February 23, 2006


Wow! Went away for a while but I'm back. Got really busy over the holidays and needed to settle into the job and the medication and the life, you know. Anyway, I'm back and better than ever. Work is going really well. I'm still at God's Love We Deliver. Am gradually taking on more and more responsibility. Pretty soon I'll be running the place. And have been knitting like a crazy. Everyone got knitted stuff for Christmas, most of it was greatly appreciated but the upshot is I'm knitting for me for a while. Got my own digital camera for christmas so I can finally photo this stuff. Anyway, everything's cool. It's good to be back.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

sock one totally done

the fabulous John at The Point helped me finish sock one. The stitches were on a paper clip and we pulled them off onto the tapestry needle one at a time, turned it inside out and wove in the end. It looks great! I will have a photo of it tonight that hopefully i can post tomorrow. Started sock two last night. It already seems to be going twice as fast as the other one. Is it always like that when you have to make two of something. Like sleeves. The first one seems to plod along and the second one just cranks out?
getting my hair cut really short tonight by my friend who does hair for CHICAGO. If I go around looking like Velma Kelly, you'll know why. then TOSOS meeting. then home to sleep. i'm so D tired all the time! beforehand i may plunk down in front of the TV and try to crank out sock two. somebody asked me if I would ever wear sock one under a shoe and I didn't answer right away. it's too nice. I don't want to get it dirty!!!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

sock one done

picture forthcoming.
i used a bit more that one skein of koigu which freaked me out b/c i'm a cheapo and don't want to have to buy another skein. i am very happy though that it's a perfect fit and very very pretty. i don't think i've ever said that about a sock before. the problem is i knit these up on 2's and i don't have a needle small enough to pick up the stitches and pull them through. arrgh. right now i've got them resting on a paper clip.
started to cast on the second one last night. i hate that part. casting on to dp's and the first round is not fun to me. dropped one stitch in the first row. made a feeble attempt to pick it up but it didn't happen so i went to pull it out and got all the way up to the knot i used to join it. i was tired. so it's sitting there in my bag.
put the first one is so pretty! and it fits!
will give the birthday girl her jacket and my pen pal her shawl this week. since i am technologically impaired these days, i'm asking for pictures of them in the company of their recipients for my blog, so hopefully soon there will be pix!!! i get bored with no pix too.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

sock progress and a little vent

first off, i continue to obsess on the sock. an inch and a half to go and i start on the heel. oooo, yes!
okay, i get a gold star for yesterday. i play on a pool team and it's been kind of rough season for me personally. but i finally turned my game around and have won the last three matches in a row against better rated players than me. good!
well, little by little our team (CUE AS FOLK) has gone to 7th out or 8 to 2nd! We made it to the play offs! a first for me. i have two teammates that were on my gay pool league team that are reliable. then there's the third who was really psyched about playing and being on the team etc. but she has missed three matches. the 1st one was my fault partially b/c I didn't call and check in w/ her and tell her like I had started doing. after that she pulled me aside and said how upset she was and how she could never depend on me for anything without allowing me to give my side of it or anything. that upset me a lot but i thought--you know, what there is wrong on both sides here and it may just be wise to let this one go. so i did. then a few weeks later she didn't show. b/c she just plum forgot. okay. i was angry and i allowed it to fuck my game up. i mean who FORGETS! anyway, i thought well, the last time was my fault now were even. so last night, last game of the season. she doesn't show again! she overslept! AAAA! again, i started to rage, but slowly i reasoned myself out of it. what good does it do to tear her a new one? it was an accident and we don't get the games back if i make her cry. so i slowly let it go and i actually played really well and won. so, i was proud of myself for not going there, for making my point with her after the game diplomatically and realistically we only have to make it through playoffs. i don't think i will be playing with her again. it's frustrating when it's a friend. i cut her a break by getting her on the team and i want to help out and for her to have fun, but ultimately i don't trust that she's going to be there every week and I'm not interested in being a baby sitter. for her or anyone else. that's for letting me vent, friends! the playoffs start next week!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

sock mad!

Okay, I have entered the wonderful world of sock-making and totally now get why people get so obsessed. First of all, if you're like me you're an obsessive knitter anyway. But having a portable project on teeny needles that go round and round in pretty yarn that's three dimensional and is going change directions and shape! I love it! Got a pattern from my friend Susi who swears by it. I pored of it trying to make sense of it and once I got the feeling that I was making it harder than it was by just reading it over and over and not just doing it, I dived in. I got some lovely blues and beiges Koigu and I'm sockin' out! I swear it's all I want to do. I was completely parked last night infront of the tv for two hours not goin' anywhere b/c i was deep into the sock. It's so different b/c the last thing i did was the mohair jacket on 10
s so going around and around on 2's is a trip! But it's a good one!

Monday, August 29, 2005

BOOK REVIEW and finished product (almost)

CAFFE CINO: The Birthplace of Off-Off-Broadway by Wendell C. Stone. That picture of me and my friend Chris was at the book party for this book. I was given a copy of the book and actually read it. It's really really good. Granted, I'm always interested in Theater History and I know and/or have worked with some of the folks in this book. But it's written in a very engaging matter. It's not dry and text book-y and gives you a real flavor of what was going on at the Cino and why, who were the people involved, what were they writing and why. It sets it in a relevant social/political/historical framework and what I appreciated most was it celebrates what the art and the artists of the place without romanticizing them or turning them into mythological creatures. Best of all, it's not boring, did I mention that?! I really appreciated the author's technique of using numerous interviews and quotes some contradictory to tell the story, rather than "This is the way it was." Gives you a chance to make up your own mind. I highly recommend this one.

I finished the Suss Cousins blue mohair jacket. The seams even look good! I'm so proud of myself b/c I did shaping. It has such an elegant drape to it. It went fast because essentially it was five long slender strips rather than big blocks of fabric. Showed it to a knitter friend and she said I need to block the front closed to keep it from curling. She's right. I didn't do a selvedge edge b/c it wasn't called for and I'm not that experienced. So I will do it b/c like she said "you want it to look good in the box." But it really came out nice! I will send pix when I give it to the birthday girl.