When you've gone over something AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN like I have, certain questions get answered, OTHERS SPRING UP! You mind plays tricks on you, YOU PLAY TRICKS BACK! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps on knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting..."

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

goodbye 695!

whew! i spent the weekend moving into a new apartment, just up the street from my old one. i foolishly thought that the lack of physical distance translated into me not needing much help. the upshot of it is i did most of the move by myself and i am now exhausted. i really want to just curl up under my desk and go to sleep. but i love the new place! i can't wait to get it all unpacked!
also, mermaid closed this weekend. i will miss her. it was a great experience and the feedback was really positive. the book comes out this week and i'm very excited about that, too.
tonight i have pool league, but i really wish i could go home, pet the 100 year old dog and pass out.
needless to say i have done no knitting. even my arms hurt. owie. i'm walking around like fred sanford and it aint pretty.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

where's finberg?

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Wednesday, May 25, 2005

make me late for work

i was late to work today b/c i was working on the boucle vest (heretofor known as bloucle). the worsted and the bloucle work really well together. i don't know whether it's b/c it's blue/black on black on a vest or the actual boucle but it has a certain eighties feel to it. which makes it even more perfect for me. ah, the eighties. i look forward to wearing bloucle over a white t-shirt, ripped up acid washed jeans, paint spattered Vans, black Wayfarers and going to a DuranDuran concert. flashback, sorry. that's what happens when you're in the knit zone listening to Rhyme and Reason / Missing Person and you suddenly realize it's 8:30. dag!
big news! i'm moving! to bigger apartment a half a block away. i can't wait. it'll be so nice to have some room. i've liked my little studio but i've been in it for ten years and am so ready for a change! i will probably spend the weekend packing up and maybe just walking stuff over there, since my friend who is moving out will be leaving on saturday. yea!!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

i'd rather be knitting

have two projects going at the moment. the bob+weave shawl from knitty.com for my friend Connie. am doing it in rio de la plata (the new and cheaper manos) burgundy and burgundy/soft cigar. may not do ribbons. wanted to get the body done first. and it's going so fast i started another project. am combining the boucle my boyznite bud john gave me w/ leftover from flames onyx brown sheep worsted on the petrol knitty.com pattern since the gauge worked out. have been wanting to try to do a sweater in the round and this one seems pretty straight forward. pictures soon. needless to say w/ the weather being as overcast as it is and the job being as slow as it is today, i'd rather be home working on one of these projects. if not trying to figure out how to do both at the same time.
speaking of pictures, below is my leading lady Victoria in the shot that may be the cover for the book. she is ondine in the play within the play. she is awesome and the recipient of the jellyfish tie-end wrap. she has asked me to teach her how to knit. i am a big fan. all hail Victoria!

mermaid sighting! (my leading lady)

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Monday, May 23, 2005

book review

i finally finished HOLY TERROR: Andy Warhol Close Up by Bob Colacella. I really enjoyed it but I didn't think I'd ever finish it. Not that it was bad. I read really slowly and it's a big book (504p.) full of big pages full of big names. Plowing through long lists of names of people that were at this party or at the Factory when that happened etc was exhasutive. I chipped away at it about ten pages at a time. But I'm glad I made it. Colacella is a compelling writer and it's as much a bio of him starting out in new york and starting up a magazine as it is of warhol. warhol's a difficult subject as well b/c he was so present but not forthcoming, there/not there and, let's face it--a wierdo--but Colacella really illuminates that personality so you see the real dichotomy that made up the man. He writes w/ a palatable mix of compassion and frustration. i feel like i have a real sense of who the man was. And a sense of relief I didn't know him. having gone to an arts school and done a little time in both the fashion and the publishing industries, this is one holy terror i'm glad i missed.
on a more personal note, i'd been carrying that book around since i got it for free when i worked at harpercollins. i moved it from apartment to apartment fully inteding to read it but never getting around to it. i have resolved to actually read the books i have been lugging around. here's one i actually made good on. woo-hoo!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

spinning wheels and needle zen

yesterday was just annoying. going in one direction and being needed in another. and change. and change. wanting to be invisible but getting there only when I want something, not when somebody wants something of me or i don't want to be seen by someone, etc. feeling like i'm being squeezed from all sides w/ nowhere to go. bailed on my plans b/c i didn't want to be w/ people. instead put in a terrible movie from netflix and finished the jellyfish wrap. it' s lovely, but mom may end up w/ the lace scarf. more her style. more importantly, the magical peace of knitting chilled me out. i don't know how it works but it works and i'm grateful for it. so grateful for it.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

2 cents plus

did the interview yesterday and am now more confused than ever. i expected to not like the place and could therefore be dismissive. instead i do like it, feel like i would be a good fit there, but financially can't take it b/c i'd still be working for a temp agency for 2$ less an hour and no benefits. i am going to make myself trust that this is going to work out and that by putting my best foot forward and i am doing the best i can do.
almost done w/ jellyfish wrap which i think will go to my mom on her birthday next week. was going to give the lace scarf, but it needs to be blocked some more and i need to get this in the mail NOW! next up is a yoga matt bag from SnB nation for my friend Robert. read some criticism of Miss Stoller on a couple of blogs yesterday. I can see what you mean, guys. But I don't want to be like the Catholic church and slam something sight unseen. she may not like male crafters but i haven't met her so i don't know. i did have some contact w/ her when i answered a call for people to help organize the book and the response was very form-letter-y. i like the books and own the second one. i use it a lot. the one crit i would have is it's so specifically geared toward girls. not to the point of exclusion, but as a guy i had to work on including myself. i don't know if any of the designs are "classic", but they are fun, wearable and giftable and i've made a lot of them. the appeal to me b/c they're not stodgy or traditional. the first SnB was instramental in getting me further into knitting which is a huge blessing in my life and a gift to my sanity. so that's my 2 cents. debbie stoller may not have written the bible but she is not the devil.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

faster, faster

sunday was mark finley appreication day. meaning after two days of racing around, climbing over people and having smoke coming out of my ears getting from one place to the next to the next i took a day to just do what i wanted to do. i went to the movies--MYSTERIOUS SKIN (which was OK, lovely to look at and some effecting and disturbing scenes, but slow and not incredibly engaging)--and to The Point, a new knit shop/cafe on Bedford and Carmine. I sat and worked on the jellyfish wrap for an hour or so and now it's almost done! I love fast projects and this one really cranked. It was mostly garter stitch on 11's which would explain that. But the fiber change and decreases kept it interesting. I wanted to keep it simple on the mohair b/c i didn't feel like i could easily correct mistakes. the colors are really great! this one may go in my gift/treasure vault. but i have a question for you fiber mavens out there: is there a way to keep mohair from shedding? this piece is going to look so good on basic black, but that'll point up the shedding even more.
everything else in life is baby steps at the moment. i have a interview today for a glamorous job that i can't afford to take (b/c i can't take another pay cut and still pay my benefits). i continue to battle my insurance co and wait to hear from my old job re tax forms and wait to hear from people re a new job and wait to hear from where i'm working now re this job. nothing moves as fast i want it to. i just have to trust that it's moving at it's own rate, a rate i can't see or control. and drink less coffee.

Monday, May 16, 2005

so serious

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cleaves flip off

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cleaves being nice

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delicious mohair

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side view

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finished loop pillow

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Friday, May 13, 2005

ah, that's better

thanks, guys, for your comments yesterday. feeling much better today. there are so many good things in my life. it's easy to forget that when i get stressed and short-sighted.
speaking of short-sighted i got some new glasses yesterday which i can't wait to show you. prada, on sale for 79$, hadda have 'em. i have always wanted a pair of big black plastic clark kents. not b/c they're the best look on me but b/c i like them. these are like a smaller version of that. i love them. and yes, they're a little new york gay looking, but hell, truth in advertising.
got a little further on my mohair extravanganza. i'm loving it. the colors work really well together and the texture is a real treat. am going to attempt some more experiments in lace for my portable projects. i found a great fern pattern i want to try in jon's laceweight navy alpaca and i want to make my ca actor friend a white cotton beanie for the beach.
speaking of beach, i can't wait for memorial day so that jones beach will open up! jones is one of my favorite places on earth and i can't wait for the summer to begin!
happy friday, folks!

Thursday, May 12, 2005


you ever feel like life is this endless staircase and you just keep going up and up and up? that's what i feel like lately. i am suffering from some major fatigue and the metaphor got very physical w/ me last night. lugging my laundry down the stairs, lugging my dog down the stairs and wandering around w/ her for half an hour, lugging her back upstairs to watch her pee on my kitchen floor after half an hour of wandering around w/ her, lugging my laundry that didn't get all the way dry and is therefore heavier back up the stairs. i just feel like i'm climbing further and further and further and i'm exhausted but i keep climbing. and what for? for something to do? why reason over an inaminate object like a staircase. it just is.
i am, however, very excited about the new knit project. holding a mohair and a mohair blend together to cast on was challenging but having gotten the first few rows out of the way, it's falling into place. bob's large dragonfly stitch markers came in very handy when casting 120 stitches onto a size 11 circular and they're so pretty i almost want to keep them as part of the finished garment. the colors of the piece--fucshia and mauve w/ some darker viscouse and a metalic thread--look so good together. and the feel of the mohair is delish. i'm keeping it simple b/c my last mohair experience wasn't great. i couldn't rip out the mistakes w/o damaging the peice, so i ended up starting over several times and ultimately almost running out of material.
anyway, i want nothing more than to curl up on a landing with my knitting and take a vacation from the staircase. but would i keep climbing if i ever got a chance to rest?

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


i finished cleaves last night and it came out great! i started weaving in the ends wh/ is a little tricky b/c you have to do that on the front (b/c the cowl part is turned inside out to wear) and it doesn't seem natural. but i'm very pleased with it. what is it with something simple and repetitive? you don't think you're getting anywhere, then you look down and you're like, wow, where did all this garment come from, then the last two rows go on forever trying to get it to the right measurement. anyway, i'm very happy with it. i'm going to get my lovely friend g to model it for me on friday and if she likes it she can keep it, but only if she gets her husband to take a picture of her in it for the blog. as beautiful and R and I are, I don't think we're going to look right in Cleaves. So today I start my next project. The mellow tie one on wrap from knitty in a fuschia mohair MC and a mauve and other colors CC. I wanted to see if I could master the simpler pattern before trying the next one up.
so the woman i want to rent an apartment from called my friend and wants to get in touch w/ me. i really want this apartment but i'm dragging my heels about calling her back. my friend R set my up w/ a job interview and i'm dragging my heels about calling him back. i need this job b/c i need someone to pay my insurance and i need this apartment b/c i've totally outgrown the one i've been in for the last 10 years. so why am i dragging my feet? i guess, i fear change. even if i want it and need it. also, i hate rejection and that's always a risk when you ask for something you want. i know i'll get over it and do what has to be done. if only i didn't have to make the calls. but we all know life doesn't work that way.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

laugh-in love

it was nice to have a night to just chill last night. i did a little bit more work on Cleaves. I'm about three inches away from being done w/ it. i feel like it should be done already. it's just a 2X2 rib on 11's. what's the hold up! i did have that great zen knitting thing going on when i was just crankin' away on it watching laugh-in on Trio. okay, i love that show. i wasn't allowed to watch it when i was a kid, b/c it was "dirty". but I think it had more to do w/ the fact that my parents actually voted for Nixon. what genius to surround whatever you wanted to say about anyone with puns, non-sequitors, sight gags, corniness and self-deprication. you probably couldn't get away with it now. we couldn't at MTV and we were the animation department! i mean, wouldn't you expect irreverence, weirdness and topicality from the MTV animation department? such crap. anyway, i love the dippy goldie, i love the crazy joanne whorley and i am ruth buzzi. i got to meet joann whorley after a show she did at Rainbow and Stars a while back. she was very nice and appropriately nutty. she was supposed to replace Linda Lavin (after Tyne Daly) in Gypsy and word had it that she was the best one b/c she could sing it and act it. never happened.
anyway, below is my book jacket photo. my publisher says a good picture will sell books so i let him have this one and he loved it. the book (the pubished version of THE MERMAID) is supposed to come out this weekend. i am very excited. i looked at the galleys yesterday and it suddenly dawned on me that this is really going to happen. woo-hoo!

Monday, May 09, 2005

portrait of the artist as a younger man

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the raveled sleeve

i slept so much this weekend it's not funny. i went home from work early on friday (summer hours) and took a quick nap which turned out to be an hour and a half long. then yesterday i did something i haven't done in years and slept past noon! sleeping is great and i love sleeping in, but sleeping in for me is like 9am, b/c i have to get up at 7 everyday. although i was impressed with myself for getting ten hours of sleep in a sitting (is that right? i don't sleep sitting up) i was bummed that half my day had gone by. and what a lovely spring day it was too. i guess that's what stress and stressing about being stressed does to ya.
did something else i haven't done in years. sat down at my computer and wrote! woo-hoo. i have been working on this play...not true, i had an idea for a play and started it...a few years back but haven't been back at it for a long time. i started in on it again yesterday and it was a really good feeling. that's a muscle i would really like to develop again. i used to do an hour a day good bad or indifferent. of course, writing in here helps get things going.
didn't manage to connect w/ my photo phriend, but hopefully will this week. have many new items to post.
netflix is the best thing ever! especially for a late nite knitter. i call it knitflix. this weekend i checked out Shaun of the Dead (loved it) and Being Julia (okay, what was the point of that, other than to give AB a project?) someday i will finish my Andy Warhol book and will able to report on it. it's not like it's a tough read, but i can only get thru 10 pages or so at a time. names, names, names, sweetie. it should be going faster than it is, but what isn't, except work.
i need a nap.

Friday, May 06, 2005


well, the mermaid, she is swimming...last night went really well. i don' t know how they got it to look so good and sound so good with one dress/tech and two run thru's but they did it. i'm a lucky, lucky guy. a lot a people worked really hard to make this happen and i am eternally grateful.
will not be going to boyznite tonight b/c i have a friend coming to the show and need to be able to hang out. i haven't missed a friday nite since feb b/c it's the high light of my week. but maybe i can check out the new men's group on sunday nights at the point.
haven't done a whole lotta knitting although i'm chuggin' along on Cleaves. So simple it should have been done by now. i also need to put the loop pillow together and blocknig branching out so I can send it to my mommy.
oh, and sleeping. sleeping would be good.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Bob Rocks and counting down...

First of all, Bob in Cincy rocks! Thanks for all those beautiful dragonfly stitch markers! I will post some pics this weekend (we have the technology). I may wear one around my neck on a chain tonight for good luck. The chocolate, however, is not long for this world.
Went to rehearsal last night which was not in the theater (a typical off-off broadway snafu). But the director was hard at work w/ the cast who seemed in good spirits. I am looking forward tonight on a number of levels. Mainly, to get the first one out of the way. I really hate opening nights as an actor b/c I'm so nervous and it's such a false high which make the next performance ultimately a let down. As a director, they're kind of sad b/c ideally that's when you let it go and let the actors have it. As a playwright, I don't know what I feel yet. I've been told that at the New York Theatre Workshop, it's one of the intern's jobs to keep the playwright and the director out of the theater until the opening night performance is over. Can I have an intern please? Preferably a really cute one? Instead of a bar, can we go to a motel? I am trying very hard not to count down the hours or sweat out what's going to happen tonight b/c ultimately there's nothing I can do about it.
Other than that, what's new in my world? I got my hair cut very short yesterday which I really like. Also, I made a openwork (face it, Mary, it's lace) beanie to wear in the summer time out of the blue Alpaca Jon sent me. More pictures coming! Cleaves is a great TV project and is going pretty fast. I just haven't had that much time to devote to it. The girl who I'm covering for here at work never showed up so I may be here indefintely. Which is good. Lots of blogging time. Wish I could knit here, though, but I think that would be tantamount to writing I HAVE NOTHING TO DO on the wall behind me.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

nervous nelly

well, tomorrow is the big day. my play, THE MERMAID, opens. i went to rehearsal last night and it was tough. tough because we're having technical problems, tough because i wish we had a couple more days to smooth them out and tough to just sit there and listen to my words. it's been a while since i've been in this position and i'd forgotten how particularly unique it is. the whole thing begins with the playwright, then the playwright hands it over to the director and the playwright is effectively done, then the director hands it over to the actors and he's effectively done, then the actors have to carry it. but none of it would have existed if it weren't for the playwright. but, that's the process, that's the biz, that's the nature of the beast whose belly i'm in. it was great to see and hear the play in there, though. the design team and director have done very very well. so it's exciting, scary, nervous-making. in short, i hate this part.
incidently, on my way home from the rehearsal i was thinking the last time i had a play produced in ny i had to stay drunk b/c the lead didn't bother to learn the lines and it was the only way i thought i could watch the process and not kill him, the director or myself, so i'd sit in the back of the theater clutching a flask and a photo of my dead lover muttering please, please, please. just as i was thinking this i look up and saw this guy trying to stagger across ninth avenue. He thought better of it, doubled over and puked his guts out. and i thought thank you for that visual reminder of how much better my life is today. anyway, send us happy thoughts tomorrow!!!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

lace detail-branching out

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stash skull cap

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cowl closer up

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okay, i finally figured out how to do this. thanks to emily and the good people at photobucket who actually do provide some customer support I was able to post the pix below. not all of them came out but now that i know how to do it and that it will work there will be many more to come. thanks also to tres for trying so hard and franklin and sean for keepin' the faith. these were taken by my friend robert who appears in the thong pic at his fabulous village apartment. we were being very retarded but having fun. i always think i look better than i actually do, but now you can judge for yourselves. anyway, i am happy to have joined the visual world of knitting and sharing and look forward to your sage comments.

loop pillow detail

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loop pillow top

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mermaid scarf detail

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French Lieutenant's Cowl

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flamer in flames

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my broken heart

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Monday, May 02, 2005

bits and pieces

Blog fun from Colleen's website.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

I had to cheat a little bit b/c I'm at work and don't have a book beside me, but my bag is beside me so I reached into it and pulled out:

HOLY TERROR: Andy Warhol Close Up by Bob Colacello

and I got

"Marion Javits, the Senator's wife, was horrified."

Started Cleaves from Knitty. Is almost instant gratification. I'm doing it in that color blue too. Seafoam is too washed out and green. Looks like toothpaste remains.
Am blocking Branching Out scarf from same issue and am going to do Tie One On next.

My play opens Thursday. Yipe!