When you've gone over something AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN like I have, certain questions get answered, OTHERS SPRING UP! You mind plays tricks on you, YOU PLAY TRICKS BACK! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps on knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting..."

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

finberg time

this is going to be a pointless little rantlet, but if it doesn't get out of me somewhere it has some dangerous potential. why the f can't anything happen in finberg time--that is, in corcordance w/ my schedule, what's going to be convenient for me. i've been waiting to hear about this job. the guy tells me call him on tuesday. i do and he can't remember what it's about. then he does and he's like can you come in Friday at 10. I'm like "Sure!" when I'm thinking, "Come in for what? Another f-ing interview? Or to start? I want and need this job. It's important to me. Can you make a decision so i can move in one way or the other? I mean, aren't high powered executives supposed to do that sort of thing?" I find out (good thing I found out) about some serious financial trouble I'm in which needs to get fixed by Friday. It looks like this will happen b/c i've asked for help, but i hate asking for help and i hate waiting for help and waiting for checks to get in place and clear it feels like waiting and begging. plus i get to work full time, too? i hate calling my dr repeatedly to get test results. i even hate waiting for my dog to figure out that i'm calling her to go outside to cross the room to get to me. i know she's very old. i know people have other things to do. but i'm just so damn sick of waiting on other f-ing people, I want to throw things. shit, when is it going to be my turn? when is it going to be, oh, mark needs this right now, i better move it. god knows if i don't think that way i hear about it. rrrrrrrrrrr.
thanks for letting me let of some steam. i know, this too shall pass. but even that is more waiting. PASS FASTER!!!!

3 Comments:

Blogger Jon said...

Breathe....breathe....that's it.... just breate....as much as we would all like to control our surroundings, you must learn to relax and just breathe...

7:45 AM

 
Blogger Impossible Princess said...

the sky is warm, the grass is gree. breath out
- Mr. Miyagi-

9:21 AM

 
Blogger Franklin said...

Breathe, yes.

But I know it's tough when people are casual about things that are important to you - especially vital stuff like jobs and money. I am growling on your behalf.

11:45 AM

 

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