When you've gone over something AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN like I have, certain questions get answered, OTHERS SPRING UP! You mind plays tricks on you, YOU PLAY TRICKS BACK! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps on knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting..."

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

stayin' all night while they sang 'em all

below is a picture of me and my friend chris tending bar at the longest book party in recorded history. it was at the Drama Book Shop and it was for the publication of a new book on the Cafe Cino. Interesting stuff. I had directed a couple of monologues from some of the Cino plays to be presented w/ some scenes from same at the top of the program. My friends were producing and I volunteered to help out. The event started at 7 and naively I thought I'd be done at 8, 8:30 at the latest. Well, after the presentation, the author thanked the producers and introduced the panel of ten actors and writers who were producing at the Cino back in the day. Two of them got up to read telegrams from people not present including Edward Albee, Robert Patrick sang a song via DVD which mentioned everyone who every worked there by name and then the panel went round robin talking about their experiences of the Cino. I had a friend on the panel and I know he can go on a bit so I was braced. My friend was actually short and sweet. All of these other people went on for twenty minutes at a pop! I'm glad it was interesting to the people who actually came to listen and who didn't know the Cino backstories, but I WAS READY TO KILL! I have heard a lot of this before and it's always interesting, but how many times can you hear about how great it used to be-- that rents downtown were 30$ a month, that you could make art in a completely safe and glamourous environment, that you could walk out your front door and have as much sex as you wanted and the worst thing that would happen was crabs or the clap, that you could actually have a career in the arts --without wanting to scream SHUT UP!!! THIS IS NOT MY WORLD!!! WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO IT? All right, that last bit is unfair, but my back got up a little bit when some of these panelists barked at me to fetch them water and that the older people needed to know where the bathrooms are and what was I going to do about it. grrrrr. don't talk to me like I"m the help. you obviously don't know who I am, but that makes us even. anyway, the thing went on for two hours plus with no break and no air conditioning and eventually no food. I felt bad for the author who had no time to sell or sign books and eight copies of the book disappeared, most likely taken by panelist who felt like there were entitled to freebies. I"m glad my friends had a successful event, but I'm definitely overdrawn at the Patience Bank.

And then I wrote.....

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Friday, July 22, 2005

have you ever noticed

that George W. Bush's mouth looks like an asshole?
that Donald Trump's mouth looks like an asshole?
that those things on (my boyfriend) Ewan McGregor's forehead don't show up in every picture and I keep hoping that he's had them removed and then there they are again?
Am crazy bored today. It's tough when you're plugging away at a temp job you don't care about waiting for the job you do care about to begin. Not complaining. Just observing.
Here in NYC they have started searching bags in the subway. I was watching people comment on it on NY1 (our local 24 hour news channel) and I was thinking what I would say if they asked me:
NY1: What do you think about the new bag search policy?
MF: Just one more empty gesture by this adminstration to try and convince us that they have any idea how to fight this "war on terror"? What is this random searching supposed to uncover? The only way to make it fair or effective is to search everyone and that's not physically possible in New York. Such crap.
NY1: Does the increased military and police presence make you feel safer?
MF: Call me crazy but being around all these guns out in the open does NOT make me feel safer. Thanks, W. Any more bright ideas?
I felt like a true New Yorker yesterday when I went to Bed Bath and Beyond pick up a vaccuum cleaner that was bought on Sunday and being held for me. They guy behind the counter took my receipt, disappeared, came right back, gave me back my receipt and said, "We're asking everyone to leave the building. There's been a bomb threat." And my first thought was, "Well, can I get my vaccuum cleaner first?" I mean, who wants to blow up Bed, Bath and Beyond? Best Buy?
Anyway, i'm hot, i'm cranky and rob schneider has another movie out. go figure. have a good weekend!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

cause for celebration

my search for full time employment has finally ended. as of Monday August 1, I will be the Volunteer Services Asssistant for God's Love We Deliver. I'm so excited about this. A friend of mine approached me about the job and sent in the resume and did the interview. The more I found out about the job and the organization the surer I was that I wasn't going to get it because I wanted it more and more. Well, yesterday I went in to HR for another interview and an hour later they called me and offered me the job. YES!!! I have been getting so frustrated lately b/c I kept getting so much positive feedback on my resume and my job performance and my interviews, but nothing coming up in the way of offers that I could afford to take. I was thinking there HAS to be something out there for me, there just HAS to be. And here it is! Also, after 8 years in television, six months in fashion and six months at a major corporation that makes you take off three months if you work more than nine months as a temp so they don't have to pay you benefits (this is a pharmacuetical corporation, all about "health", you know), it will be so nice to work somewhere where I believe in what I'm doing b/c I know it's making a difference to someone else. (Working at MTV was like working at a trendy restaurant that everyone's dying to get into but the food gives you cancer.) So I'm very happy, very excited and yes, more than a little nervous. But so looking forward to this new chapter in my life. I'll finish out my gig here next tuesday, take a the rest of the week off and away we go!

Monday, July 18, 2005

oh, yeah, knitting

yes, I'm still knitting although i haven't been talking about it or photographing it.
bloucle and the beret are on hold. i'm stuck as to where blouble came off the needles and how to get it back on and beret is just going to need more concentration than i have right now. finished the body of bob+weave shawl for my friend Connie. just need to block it a little bigger and go back to seaport yarn and get fringe yarn in the right color. i'm not going to do the ribbon weaving on this one. i'mjust not. am currently working on snb nation nubble pillow to go w/ loop pillow in same yarn.
went to boyz nite on Friday. it had been a while since i'd been, but it was good to go back. ahhh. relaxing. things have kind of slowed down for the summer. but the die hards were there.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

book review: SPECIMEN DAYS by Michael Cunningham

Michael Cunningham is one of the best writers around and that's all there is to it. SPECIMEN DAYS shows more imagination and compassion for the human condition than anything i've read for a long time. He draws his characters with such pain and understanding that you immediately feel for them and completely understand why they behave the way they do even if you don't like it. This is useful b/c he asks you to make several leaps of faith with this book. If you make them, you'll take the ride and enjoy the trip. If you don't, you won't. It's as simple as that. I loved the way he basically writes three books of different genres and connects them all. I like that this book is about big concepts not little relationships. It's pointless to compare this to the other three books b/c they're all so radically different. So would I recommend it, yes. But it's not going to be like anything you've ever read before. Just know that going in.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


i've been away from a computer for a week but i'm back. things have been kind of up in the air but moving forward.
the bad news is: i had to put my dog to sleep last week. her health had been failing for the last year or so lately manifesting in dizziness, disorientation and a pronounced head tilt which turned out to be a growth in her brain. her vet and i had been working together for a long time on different muscled treatments, but we decided last week that this would be the best thing to do.
she was given to me as a birthday present 15 years ago by my lover and we were a little family. she took good care of Don and she took good care of me--a border collie with only two sheep. i remember wishing for a dog that was smart, pretty, had his/her own personality and could rassle. i got that times 100. she was a crazy beast and a very good dog. i miss her very very much.
will write more later. just wanted to check in.