When you've gone over something AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN like I have, certain questions get answered, OTHERS SPRING UP! You mind plays tricks on you, YOU PLAY TRICKS BACK! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps on knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting..."

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

sock progress and a little vent

first off, i continue to obsess on the sock. an inch and a half to go and i start on the heel. oooo, yes!
okay, i get a gold star for yesterday. i play on a pool team and it's been kind of rough season for me personally. but i finally turned my game around and have won the last three matches in a row against better rated players than me. good!
well, little by little our team (CUE AS FOLK) has gone to 7th out or 8 to 2nd! We made it to the play offs! a first for me. i have two teammates that were on my gay pool league team that are reliable. then there's the third who was really psyched about playing and being on the team etc. but she has missed three matches. the 1st one was my fault partially b/c I didn't call and check in w/ her and tell her like I had started doing. after that she pulled me aside and said how upset she was and how she could never depend on me for anything without allowing me to give my side of it or anything. that upset me a lot but i thought--you know, what there is wrong on both sides here and it may just be wise to let this one go. so i did. then a few weeks later she didn't show. b/c she just plum forgot. okay. i was angry and i allowed it to fuck my game up. i mean who FORGETS! anyway, i thought well, the last time was my fault now were even. so last night, last game of the season. she doesn't show again! she overslept! AAAA! again, i started to rage, but slowly i reasoned myself out of it. what good does it do to tear her a new one? it was an accident and we don't get the games back if i make her cry. so i slowly let it go and i actually played really well and won. so, i was proud of myself for not going there, for making my point with her after the game diplomatically and realistically we only have to make it through playoffs. i don't think i will be playing with her again. it's frustrating when it's a friend. i cut her a break by getting her on the team and i want to help out and for her to have fun, but ultimately i don't trust that she's going to be there every week and I'm not interested in being a baby sitter. for her or anyone else. that's for letting me vent, friends! the playoffs start next week!


Blogger Franklin said...

I hear you. A grown person needs to be responsible for remembering committments and not oversleeping.

2:05 PM

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10:13 PM


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