finberg

rough patcha road

2006-02-24T13:25:00.000-08:00

so i'm kinda in an icky part of life right now. just finished directing this big show at Theater for the New City. I did a good job on it, if I do say so myself. It was a lot of work and not an easy project. So now that it's closed I'm feeling, well, bad. Since this one was such a toughie, I wasn't expecting this let down, but I what I'm walking around with is the feeling that I just moved a mountain and nothing in my life changed. i don't know what i was expecting but this deafening nothingness and feeling of futility is definitely not it. one of my friends couldn't understand it when i told him i didn't want to talk about it the fifth or sixth time he told me he'd really wanted to see my show. now he's mad at me. he has a need to make everything about him so i shouldn't be surprised. but i guess somehow i thought life would be different and it just isn't. i'm trying my best to get this next show organized. it's supposed to be a simple remount of a show i did last year but already it's turned into a major pain in my ass. i have to find a new musical director and the venue only confirmed half my dates so that's what i planned around and now i find we're supposed to cover all of them. plus this is for my friend who's mad at me because he didn't come see my show and i won't tell him it's okay's company so i have even less motivation to put it together. same shit. different day. different show. different year. i guess i feel like a different person, so i kind of want things to be different for me. i guess i can respond and act differently. in the words of Spanky McFarland, "I'll eat it, but I won't like it."
will finish my second leg warmer tonight while watching movies. am making the stitch n bitch nation leg warmers for my groovy friend maitee in purple and chartruese. photos to come. i promise!

BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER!

2006-02-23T14:09:00.000-08:00

Wow! Went away for a while but I'm back. Got really busy over the holidays and needed to settle into the job and the medication and the life, you know. Anyway, I'm back and better than ever. Work is going really well. I'm still at God's Love We Deliver. Am gradually taking on more and more responsibility. Pretty soon I'll be running the place. And have been knitting like a crazy. Everyone got knitted stuff for Christmas, most of it was greatly appreciated but the upshot is I'm knitting for me for a while. Got my own digital camera for christmas so I can finally photo this stuff. Anyway, everything's cool. It's good to be back.

sock one totally done

2005-09-07T11:39:00.000-07:00

the fabulous John at The Point helped me finish sock one. The stitches were on a paper clip and we pulled them off onto the tapestry needle one at a time, turned it inside out and wove in the end. It looks great! I will have a photo of it tonight that hopefully i can post tomorrow. Started sock two last night. It already seems to be going twice as fast as the other one. Is it always like that when you have to make two of something. Like sleeves. The first one seems to plod along and the second one just cranks out?
getting my hair cut really short tonight by my friend who does hair for CHICAGO. If I go around looking like Velma Kelly, you'll know why. then TOSOS meeting. then home to sleep. i'm so D tired all the time! beforehand i may plunk down in front of the TV and try to crank out sock two. somebody asked me if I would ever wear sock one under a shoe and I didn't answer right away. it's too nice. I don't want to get it dirty!!!

sock one done

2005-09-06T12:12:00.000-07:00

picture forthcoming.
i used a bit more that one skein of koigu which freaked me out b/c i'm a cheapo and don't want to have to buy another skein. i am very happy though that it's a perfect fit and very very pretty. i don't think i've ever said that about a sock before. the problem is i knit these up on 2's and i don't have a needle small enough to pick up the stitches and pull them through. arrgh. right now i've got them resting on a paper clip.
started to cast on the second one last night. i hate that part. casting on to dp's and the first round is not fun to me. dropped one stitch in the first row. made a feeble attempt to pick it up but it didn't happen so i went to pull it out and got all the way up to the knot i used to join it. i was tired. so it's sitting there in my bag.
put the first one is so pretty! and it fits!
will give the birthday girl her jacket and my pen pal her shawl this week. since i am technologically impaired these days, i'm asking for pictures of them in the company of their recipients for my blog, so hopefully soon there will be pix!!! i get bored with no pix too.

sock progress and a little vent

2005-08-31T13:35:00.000-07:00

first off, i continue to obsess on the sock. an inch and a half to go and i start on the heel. oooo, yes!
okay, i get a gold star for yesterday. i play on a pool team and it's been kind of rough season for me personally. but i finally turned my game around and have won the last three matches in a row against better rated players than me. good!
well, little by little our team (CUE AS FOLK) has gone to 7th out or 8 to 2nd! We made it to the play offs! a first for me. i have two teammates that were on my gay pool league team that are reliable. then there's the third who was really psyched about playing and being on the team etc. but she has missed three matches. the 1st one was my fault partially b/c I didn't call and check in w/ her and tell her like I had started doing. after that she pulled me aside and said how upset she was and how she could never depend on me for anything without allowing me to give my side of it or anything. that upset me a lot but i thought--you know, what there is wrong on both sides here and it may just be wise to let this one go. so i did. then a few weeks later she didn't show. b/c she just plum forgot. okay. i was angry and i allowed it to fuck my game up. i mean who FORGETS! anyway, i thought well, the last time was my fault now were even. so last night, last game of the season. she doesn't show again! she overslept! AAAA! again, i started to rage, but slowly i reasoned myself out of it. what good does it do to tear her a new one? it was an accident and we don't get the games back if i make her cry. so i slowly let it go and i actually played really well and won. so, i was proud of myself for not going there, for making my point with her after the game diplomatically and realistically we only have to make it through playoffs. i don't think i will be playing with her again. it's frustrating when it's a friend. i cut her a break by getting her on the team and i want to help out and for her to have fun, but ultimately i don't trust that she's going to be there every week and I'm not interested in being a baby sitter. for her or anyone else. that's for letting me vent, friends! the playoffs start next week!

sock mad!

2005-08-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have entered the wonderful world of sock-making and totally now get why people get so obsessed. First of all, if you're like me you're an obsessive knitter anyway. But having a portable project on teeny needles that go round and round in pretty yarn that's three dimensional and is going change directions and shape! I love it! Got a pattern from my friend Susi who swears by it. I pored of it trying to make sense of it and once I got the feeling that I was making it harder than it was by just reading it over and over and not just doing it, I dived in. I got some lovely blues and beiges Koigu and I'm sockin' out! I swear it's all I want to do. I was completely parked last night infront of the tv for two hours not goin' anywhere b/c i was deep into the sock. It's so different b/c the last thing i did was the mohair jacket on 10
s so going around and around on 2's is a trip! But it's a good one!

BOOK REVIEW and finished product (almost)

2005-08-29T10:29:00.000-07:00

CAFFE CINO: The Birthplace of Off-Off-Broadway by Wendell C. Stone. That picture of me and my friend Chris was at the book party for this book. I was given a copy of the book and actually read it. It's really really good. Granted, I'm always interested in Theater History and I know and/or have worked with some of the folks in this book. But it's written in a very engaging matter. It's not dry and text book-y and gives you a real flavor of what was going on at the Cino and why, who were the people involved, what were they writing and why. It sets it in a relevant social/political/historical framework and what I appreciated most was it celebrates what the art and the artists of the place without romanticizing them or turning them into mythological creatures. Best of all, it's not boring, did I mention that?! I really appreciated the author's technique of using numerous interviews and quotes some contradictory to tell the story, rather than "This is the way it was." Gives you a chance to make up your own mind. I highly recommend this one.

I finished the Suss Cousins blue mohair jacket. The seams even look good! I'm so proud of myself b/c I did shaping. It has such an elegant drape to it. It went fast because essentially it was five long slender strips rather than big blocks of fabric. Showed it to a knitter friend and she said I need to block the front closed to keep it from curling. She's right. I didn't do a selvedge edge b/c it wasn't called for and I'm not that experienced. So I will do it b/c like she said "you want it to look good in the box." But it really came out nice! I will send pix when I give it to the birthday girl.

i miss you, my friend.

2005-08-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

this house is warm

2005-08-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

sorry i haven't been posting. but i been busy!
had my housewarming/belated birthday/annivesary/booksigning party on saturday. i was really freaked out about it b/c i realized that i haven't hosted a party of any kind for like ten years. anyway, i was freaked out. did i get enough food? would people come? would people be bummed there's no liquor? will my apt. ever be clean enough? will my air conditioning hold out?
turns out i was worrying needlessly. (who me?) although there was drama as the party started when the air co blew a fuse in the apartment and the fuse box is locked up in the basement and i had guests arriving and ice melting as i waiting around impatiently for the super to show up with the key. but eventually the power came back on again. had a great turn out. had a really good time. was so gratified that people from all chapters of my life --my oldest friend was one of the first guests to arrive to people I've only know for a couple of months--turned up and had a great time with each other. i have such wonderful people in my life. i am a grateful lucky man!
the apartment feels like it's my home now. that's the whole point of a housewarming isn't it? and it forced me to clean and decorate the place. i remember waking up the next morning and going into the living room and thinking wow, this looks like a living room who lives here? wait a minute, I live here!

Ruth, you won me back!

2005-08-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

My friend Garet who turned me on to Ruth Rendell lent me another of her books after I told her about my disappointment with THE ROTTWEILER. I'm so glad she did b/c my faith in the power of the Rendell has been completely restored by HARM DONE.
RR writes a detective series along with her mystery novels. I prefer the novels to the series b/c in the series everyone's so real life unpleasant in a way only the british can be and the novels have more of a scope to them. HARM DONE is one of the series so I was less than enthusiastic, but I read it. IT WAS SO GOOD! This is the RR I know and love. Three or four story lines happening at the same time, all of them on a similar theme (in this case domestic violence) that unfold and continue to be surprising and unpredictable and satisfying literally until the last page. So I would highly recommend HARM DONE and you don't have to be up on the series. So good!
Not much else to report. It's SO HOT in NY, but this is news to no-one. The Suss jacket is cranking along. When I bought all the mohair to make it with the ladies at my LYS thought I was crazy. I said I just sit in front of my airconditioner and crank this out b/c it's all i have the energy for. Please! It's not like I"m taking this stuff to the beach.
Am having my housewarming party and am looking forward to it. It had been so long since I've had a party I forgot how, but it's coming back and i'm starting to get excited about it.
my coworker just told me Rosie O'Donnell is going into FIDDLER ON THE ROOF as Golda. Oh-kay. I wish I could be a good mo and say I love Rosie, but i'd be lyin'. I don't dislike her. She just scares me.

delivered!

2005-08-01T12:25:00.000-07:00

today is my first day here at the new gig at God's Love We Deliver. kind of mellow today in that I'm still learning everything, but the atmosphere here is SO different that anything I've encountered. everyone has been really nice friendly and helpful and genuinely glad to have me on board. there is no nerve/adreline rush in the air or coporate florescent pallor. it's cool. just wanted to check in.
also, i have started working on a simple Suss Cousins jacket for my pal Garet out of super kid mohair. not the most forgiving fiber in the world. i'm getting these mysterious holes. not dropped stitches. i think just large stitches. i go to fix them and i make runs. can't frog it out. not fun, but pretty. something to be said for mindless stockinette though. good tv watchin' work. and thank God they didn't take off my beloved Sanford and Son, just moved it up a half an hour before Good Times. gotta have my Freddy G and my Aunt Esther!

stayin' all night while they sang 'em all

2005-07-26T06:16:00.000-07:00

below is a picture of me and my friend chris tending bar at the longest book party in recorded history. it was at the Drama Book Shop and it was for the publication of a new book on the Cafe Cino. Interesting stuff. I had directed a couple of monologues from some of the Cino plays to be presented w/ some scenes from same at the top of the program. My friends were producing and I volunteered to help out. The event started at 7 and naively I thought I'd be done at 8, 8:30 at the latest. Well, after the presentation, the author thanked the producers and introduced the panel of ten actors and writers who were producing at the Cino back in the day. Two of them got up to read telegrams from people not present including Edward Albee, Robert Patrick sang a song via DVD which mentioned everyone who every worked there by name and then the panel went round robin talking about their experiences of the Cino. I had a friend on the panel and I know he can go on a bit so I was braced. My friend was actually short and sweet. All of these other people went on for twenty minutes at a pop! I'm glad it was interesting to the people who actually came to listen and who didn't know the Cino backstories, but I WAS READY TO KILL! I have heard a lot of this before and it's always interesting, but how many times can you hear about how great it used to be-- that rents downtown were 30$ a month, that you could make art in a completely safe and glamourous environment, that you could walk out your front door and have as much sex as you wanted and the worst thing that would happen was crabs or the clap, that you could actually have a career in the arts --without wanting to scream SHUT UP!!! THIS IS NOT MY WORLD!!! WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO IT? All right, that last bit is unfair, but my back got up a little bit when some of these panelists barked at me to fetch them water and that the older people needed to know where the bathrooms are and what was I going to do about it. grrrrr. don't talk to me like I"m the help. you obviously don't know who I am, but that makes us even. anyway, the thing went on for two hours plus with no break and no air conditioning and eventually no food. I felt bad for the author who had no time to sell or sign books and eight copies of the book disappeared, most likely taken by panelist who felt like there were entitled to freebies. I"m glad my friends had a successful event, but I'm definitely overdrawn at the Patience Bank.

And then I wrote.....

2005-07-26T06:13:00.000-07:00

have you ever noticed

2005-07-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

that George W. Bush's mouth looks like an asshole?
that Donald Trump's mouth looks like an asshole?
that those things on (my boyfriend) Ewan McGregor's forehead don't show up in every picture and I keep hoping that he's had them removed and then there they are again?
Am crazy bored today. It's tough when you're plugging away at a temp job you don't care about waiting for the job you do care about to begin. Not complaining. Just observing.
Here in NYC they have started searching bags in the subway. I was watching people comment on it on NY1 (our local 24 hour news channel) and I was thinking what I would say if they asked me:
NY1: What do you think about the new bag search policy?
MF: Just one more empty gesture by this adminstration to try and convince us that they have any idea how to fight this "war on terror"? What is this random searching supposed to uncover? The only way to make it fair or effective is to search everyone and that's not physically possible in New York. Such crap.
NY1: Does the increased military and police presence make you feel safer?
MF: Call me crazy but being around all these guns out in the open does NOT make me feel safer. Thanks, W. Any more bright ideas?
I felt like a true New Yorker yesterday when I went to Bed Bath and Beyond pick up a vaccuum cleaner that was bought on Sunday and being held for me. They guy behind the counter took my receipt, disappeared, came right back, gave me back my receipt and said, "We're asking everyone to leave the building. There's been a bomb threat." And my first thought was, "Well, can I get my vaccuum cleaner first?" I mean, who wants to blow up Bed, Bath and Beyond? Best Buy?
Anyway, i'm hot, i'm cranky and rob schneider has another movie out. go figure. have a good weekend!

cause for celebration

2005-07-21T06:16:00.000-07:00

my search for full time employment has finally ended. as of Monday August 1, I will be the Volunteer Services Asssistant for God's Love We Deliver. I'm so excited about this. A friend of mine approached me about the job and sent in the resume and did the interview. The more I found out about the job and the organization the surer I was that I wasn't going to get it because I wanted it more and more. Well, yesterday I went in to HR for another interview and an hour later they called me and offered me the job. YES!!! I have been getting so frustrated lately b/c I kept getting so much positive feedback on my resume and my job performance and my interviews, but nothing coming up in the way of offers that I could afford to take. I was thinking there HAS to be something out there for me, there just HAS to be. And here it is! Also, after 8 years in television, six months in fashion and six months at a major corporation that makes you take off three months if you work more than nine months as a temp so they don't have to pay you benefits (this is a pharmacuetical corporation, all about "health", you know), it will be so nice to work somewhere where I believe in what I'm doing b/c I know it's making a difference to someone else. (Working at MTV was like working at a trendy restaurant that everyone's dying to get into but the food gives you cancer.) So I'm very happy, very excited and yes, more than a little nervous. But so looking forward to this new chapter in my life. I'll finish out my gig here next tuesday, take a the rest of the week off and away we go!

oh, yeah, knitting

2005-07-18T07:51:00.000-07:00

yes, I'm still knitting although i haven't been talking about it or photographing it.
bloucle and the beret are on hold. i'm stuck as to where blouble came off the needles and how to get it back on and beret is just going to need more concentration than i have right now. finished the body of bob+weave shawl for my friend Connie. just need to block it a little bigger and go back to seaport yarn and get fringe yarn in the right color. i'm not going to do the ribbon weaving on this one. i'mjust not. am currently working on snb nation nubble pillow to go w/ loop pillow in same yarn.
went to boyz nite on Friday. it had been a while since i'd been, but it was good to go back. ahhh. relaxing. things have kind of slowed down for the summer. but the die hards were there.

book review: SPECIMEN DAYS by Michael Cunningham

2005-07-13T06:22:00.000-07:00

Michael Cunningham is one of the best writers around and that's all there is to it. SPECIMEN DAYS shows more imagination and compassion for the human condition than anything i've read for a long time. He draws his characters with such pain and understanding that you immediately feel for them and completely understand why they behave the way they do even if you don't like it. This is useful b/c he asks you to make several leaps of faith with this book. If you make them, you'll take the ride and enjoy the trip. If you don't, you won't. It's as simple as that. I loved the way he basically writes three books of different genres and connects them all. I like that this book is about big concepts not little relationships. It's pointless to compare this to the other three books b/c they're all so radically different. So would I recommend it, yes. But it's not going to be like anything you've ever read before. Just know that going in.

back

2005-07-12T06:36:00.000-07:00

i've been away from a computer for a week but i'm back. things have been kind of up in the air but moving forward.
the bad news is: i had to put my dog to sleep last week. her health had been failing for the last year or so lately manifesting in dizziness, disorientation and a pronounced head tilt which turned out to be a growth in her brain. her vet and i had been working together for a long time on different muscled treatments, but we decided last week that this would be the best thing to do.
she was given to me as a birthday present 15 years ago by my lover and we were a little family. she took good care of Don and she took good care of me--a border collie with only two sheep. i remember wishing for a dog that was smart, pretty, had his/her own personality and could rassle. i got that times 100. she was a crazy beast and a very good dog. i miss her very very much.
will write more later. just wanted to check in.

"Change is good."

2005-06-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

"We fear change."--Garth, Wayne's World
So my temp gig for the last five months is coming to an end this friday. This was a really good gig, in that I didn't do awhole lot which allowed me to really focus on and bang out stuff when it needed to happen which made me look really good. And realistically, I need a job that will pay my expensive ass health insurance. And that's how temp gigs are. They're temporary. I just get scared that I'm never going to work again, that I'm not going to get my rent covered, that I'm going to starve. etc. I know these are silly and reactionary, but they are nonetheless real. The YOU MUST HAVE A JOB tradition has been passed down to me very strongly in my family.
But I have been interviewing during this whole process. As a matter of fact, I have a second interview for this conde naste gig tomorrow. the timing would be rather perfect, so wish me luck. Thanks for letting me rant yesterday. I so needed it. Thanks so much for your supportive comments. I'm breathing!
This may sound stupid, but i haven't knitted anything in a couple of days and that may have set my serenity on edge. I feel like I come a bit unravelled if I don't put in at least a row or two on something.
What a really need is a vacation. If there is a little break in work time, maybe i need to cast about and find someone who can look after my dog for a day or two and see if I can get away to my friends cabin.
oh, well. change is good. it's just scary b/c you don't know what you're going to change into.

finberg time

2005-06-29T06:29:00.000-07:00

this is going to be a pointless little rantlet, but if it doesn't get out of me somewhere it has some dangerous potential. why the f can't anything happen in finberg time--that is, in corcordance w/ my schedule, what's going to be convenient for me. i've been waiting to hear about this job. the guy tells me call him on tuesday. i do and he can't remember what it's about. then he does and he's like can you come in Friday at 10. I'm like "Sure!" when I'm thinking, "Come in for what? Another f-ing interview? Or to start? I want and need this job. It's important to me. Can you make a decision so i can move in one way or the other? I mean, aren't high powered executives supposed to do that sort of thing?" I find out (good thing I found out) about some serious financial trouble I'm in which needs to get fixed by Friday. It looks like this will happen b/c i've asked for help, but i hate asking for help and i hate waiting for help and waiting for checks to get in place and clear it feels like waiting and begging. plus i get to work full time, too? i hate calling my dr repeatedly to get test results. i even hate waiting for my dog to figure out that i'm calling her to go outside to cross the room to get to me. i know she's very old. i know people have other things to do. but i'm just so damn sick of waiting on other f-ing people, I want to throw things. shit, when is it going to be my turn? when is it going to be, oh, mark needs this right now, i better move it. god knows if i don't think that way i hear about it. rrrrrrrrrrr.
thanks for letting me let of some steam. i know, this too shall pass. but even that is more waiting. PASS FASTER!!!!

weekend update and book review

2005-06-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

thanks again for all your birthday wishes! some friends of mine took me out to The Mermaid Inn on saturday to celebrate and it was very fun and grown up. very sex in the city.
saturday is was hot, hot, hot. my friend Robert and I went to Jones Beach and it was so beautiful. being on the shore, too, the temperature was very nice. water still too cold to go into but lots of nice, um, scenery. yesterday was a lovely day for pride. i didn't go, though. first time in years. my meds kind of knocked me on my ass so i spent the day quietly. watched FINDING NEVERLAND and loved it.
finished THE UNDERMINER by Nick Albo. very funny. there were a couple of times when i laughed out loud. it's kind of a one joke thing, but it's very very well done and the writing is really good. it takes some surprising turns. it's short (165 pp.) but it took me a long time to read b/c i so know the narrator it was kind of an icky place to go. why do these people flourish?!! so, if you don't have an inferiority complex i would highly recommend it. and it you do, i would recommend it, too. it'll just take you longer to get through.
wanted to clear my plate for SPECIMEN DAYS. yea! i'm not one of these people who can read more than one book at a time. i don't have that many brain cells left, I guess.

it's all good

2005-06-23T07:02:00.000-07:00

thanks everyone for your birthday wishes. i had such a nice day yesterday! work was typically uneventful, so i basically came in late, played mah johng on the computer went out for a long lunch and comic book shopping spree with a friend, came back, actually did some writing on the new play (wow, a writer who writes!), left early, went to my millionaire audition.
you guys, i didn't pass the written. ouch. i had a friend who was head writer on this show and she said the questions are designed to go right down the middle of what common sense would dictate and what the actual answer is. this is ingenious b/c you become quite convinced that you're right when you're totally not. i finished pretty quickly and was SHOCKED when my number didn't get called. just shows ta go ya: don't be an asshole.
then i did a little shopping for myself. bought the new Weezer CD and the new Michael Cunningham novel. then some friends took me out to dinner. which was perfect b/c although i wanted to see Batman, i wasn't quite sure i wanted to go by myself and i was kinda tired (meds). then i went home and watched bad tv (really bad TV: has anyone ever seen that scary BEST OF THREE'S COMPANY special they did w/ Lucille Ball in the eighties. sheesh!) with my darling dog. she was a birthday present 15 years ago--the gift that keeps on giving--so it's kind of a anniversary for us. so a good time was had by me. which is the whole point.
i am going to start buying yarn for my next project: i want to make the Fitzgerald sweater in Noro Silk Garden colorway 8 (blue/purple). Since I need 14 skeins and it's like 10$ a pop and it's a pretty common colorway i was going to do it in installments. i have heard stories about Silk Garden, though. does it get those little sticks in it that you have to pull out. i really don't want to do that, okay? has anyone worked with this stuff before? what do you think? it's SOO pretty I lust for it, but if it's a nuisance to work with, i can move on.

as we get older

2005-06-21T08:39:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is my birthday and to tell you the truth i almost forgot about it. there has been so much going on lately (the move, the book, the meds) and so much coming up (job interviews, anniversery) that turning 42 totally slipped my mind. i got a little blue about it b/c being single tends to really only bug me on my birthday and on christmas (so it must have something to do with not getting enough presents), but i feel better now. was going to take the day off and go to the beach, but the buses aren't running during the week yet so i will have to think of something else fun to do. i am auditioning for WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? tomorrow but although that's fun, i don't know if i'd call that fun. can't they just save everyone some time and give me the money now? maybe i will go and see BATMAN (since i'm a huge batman freak, i mean fan) i don't know. this is where boyfriends come in handy. i can't get all creative and excited about it if it's for me.
i finished the yoga matt bag and gave it to my friend who says it's awesome! i will have him photo it and send me the pic for the blog. have separated the front and back on bluecle and am now about two inches away from being done with the back. it's really taking shape and is actually going to be quite elegant. and BIG! good, i'll feel skinny in it. although i have been losing weight. i think my days of the 32" waist are over. am kind of stuck on the beret. i forgot what a pain untwisting yarn in the back is w/ intarsia. it'll look good though.

ruth, you broke my heart

2005-06-17T07:18:00.000-07:00

one of my favorite authors is Ruth Rendell. she's like the best mystery writer there is. i'm not a big fan of her Inspector Wexford books, but her mystery/suspense books are absolutely top notch if you like menacing psychological thrillers. i try to vary my reading diet and after reading an informative but not too compelling non-fic about how AA was formed and its formative years, I was ready for a box of chocolates and that's exactly what RR's books are to me. I tend to only read one a year b/c i don't want to gain weight. i usually read them in the fall or winter b/c the atmosphere suits the tone better. rainy, overcast london, obsessed people that want to kill each other. it works for me. well, I read the next to last one and was so bummed. it's really really good up until the end. she does these great characters as usual and sucks them into a terrific plot, builds to this inevitable climax and then CRAPPED OUT! It's like she wrapped up one story line and phoned in the rest. The last five pages were literally: this happened to that one, this one got married and they ended up being friends w/ these two, it didn't work out so well for so and so, he got fat and she got fired. the end. i'm like what? Ruth, you're killin' me. Did you just get tired? I would have hung on for another fifty pages if you woulda wrapped it up the way you usually do. So, I can't recommend THE ROTTWEILLER. But I absolutely can recommend:
THE LAKE OF DARKNESS (first one I read and I still think her best)
THE BRIDESMAID
A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES
THE FACE OF TRESPASS
THE KILLING DOLL
LIVE FLESH
she also writes as Barbara Vine and I can recommend
ANNA'S BOOK
GALLOWGLASS
I still love her and will definitely keep reading her, I was just SO BUMMED!

about the author...

2005-06-15T06:34:00.000-07:00

as you can see from the below, i am now a published author. i'm so excited!!!! i got my copies yesterday and they go on sale at the drama book shop on Friday, i think. i just can't believe it's a real book. i hope there will be a book signing (they did one for the last batch of plays they published) but i don't think i'm up for a tour what with my busy temp schedule and all. my mother has a book published (on ribbed basketweaving) so now there are two authors in the family. no really, i'm so psyched.

rear view

2005-06-15T06:32:00.000-07:00

fit to print!

2005-06-15T06:31:00.000-07:00

too many projects!

2005-06-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

okay i have way too many things going.
bloucle is right at the point where it's getting divided for front and back so i took a little break since i'll have to start thinking.
i started a beret from 45 fine and fanciful hats b/c i wanted to do some more color work. it looks pretty good, but twisting and untwisting in the back is also requiring too much thought for me.
and i am giving the yoga mat bag from snb nation another go. i've had to start this like four times b/c i keep screwing up the pattern (and it's not a hard pattern). This time i'm just going to plow through. i know the pattern so well at this point i can figure out how to fake it.beach was beeyootiful yesterday. i will have to take some photos. jon, it's so worth it! did my shot last night so am feeling crappy today. will probably watch MR SKEFFINGTON tonight and work on one of my many many projects.
i made a pound cake in my new kitchen. now i feel moved in! spent most of saturday unpacking stuff. the murphy bed got put up. now all of the unpacked crud is in the front room. my den is unpacked so now i have a writing area. now i just have to get my computer up and running and the stereo going and i will be completely settled. except, of course, for the redecorating.

summer in the city

2005-06-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

it's here! it's officially summer to me when i get to go to jones beach and i went on sunday. so beautiful. one of my favorite places on earth. the train to the bus to the hike up the beach can be a little grueling but it's so worth it. it's kind of like a mini mental vacation. just getting on the train creates the illusion that i'm going away somewhere. i don't know. whatever it is, it works.
had a job interview yesterday which i hope i get. if i don't, i don't. but if i do it would be great, so keep your fingers crossed for me.
thank god for knitting. i don't know if i've shared this here, but i started undergoing treatment for hepatitus c which involves a weekly shot of interferon and twice a day pills. so far so good, but i am noticing that i tire very easily. i did a lot of walking yesterday and it really kicked my ass. so it was nice to just chill in the new pad, watch bad tv and work on the bloucle. am halfway through the black stripe already and soon will be ready to divide for front and back. sorry about no pictures. my best friend came over to look at the new place yesterday and i should have had him take some. but like i said i was a little out of it.
speaking of bad tv, even i couldn't get through the real gilligan's island. granted i tend to watch netflix, turner classics and tvland, but when did new tv get so crappy? watched sideways and thought it was ok. didn't think it was the best indie ever, but admired it intellegence and adultness.

settling in

2005-06-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

beautiful, beautiful weekend. i looks like summer is definitely here wh/ is my favorite time of year. yeah, yeah, i know it's hot and gross, but i'd rather be hot and gross than cold and miserable. friday i finally went back to my knitting group and it was so great to see the guys. specifically my friend john who gave me the bloucle. i was able to show him what i'm turning it into and ask his advice. will put in the strip after all just to make it, as john would say, "sporty" it'll also save me bloucle which is a definite finite quantity. my college friend Dan is in town this weekend and it's been so good to see him! went to see a very funny show my friends produced on Saturday again and then yesterday I went to the beach. beautiful Jones beach, my home away from home in the summer time. and w/ my first visit there for me the summer has officially begun.

little by little

2005-06-02T06:50:00.000-07:00

first night in the new pad w/ nothin' to do. i know i need to unpack but having just gotten over the gargantuan task of moving four hundred piles of crap from one place to the next, the last thing i wanted to do was move said piles of crap around even more. so i set some low goals. i found my phone and plugged it in. (but not the answering machine). i unpacked most of the kitchen just to get a pathway to the sink and cabinets. i hooked up my TV and DVD/VCR. i put clothes in the closet. when i ran out of hangers, i said to myself: okay, that's enough for tonight. put in a movie and worked on the bloucle vest until it was time to go to bed. ahhh. i'm already so much more comfortable in this new place than i was in the last one. i have a lot of junk, but maybe even not having to live in the same room w/ all of it makes a difference. about said vest. it's a pattern i adapted from knitty's petrol vest. i worked the pattern at the bottom w/ an inch and 3/4 of black lamb's pride worsted and then continued in pattern w/ the boucle. the thing is the boucle doesn't show the rib that well, which is ok, b/c i just want the body to have a little texture not a rigid rib pattern. but whenever i get to the knit/purl row my stitch count is always different and it's driving me crazy! luckily it doesn't show b/c ripping it out would be tough, but it's annoying. i guess i have to bite the bullet and get out the stitch counters. amway, last night i really felt at home in the new home. yea!

homo improvement

2005-06-01T11:41:00.000-07:00

i finally got some sleep last night and it really helped. i got so amazingly sire from shlepping all that stuff from one apartment to the next. mistake one was thinking i wasn't going to need any help b/c the move wasn't far away. mistake two was not breaking things down more and packing them better. tonight i am going home to unpack at least one room. would like to hook up my dvd b/c i haven't been able to sit, knit and netflix in quite some time. i did get a little bit done on the bob+weave wrap. it's amazing what this simple little activity does for you. i was physically hurting and mentally stressing, but after about ten minutes with the needles i was okay. zenned out and okay.

goodbye 695!

2005-05-31T06:39:00.000-07:00

whew! i spent the weekend moving into a new apartment, just up the street from my old one. i foolishly thought that the lack of physical distance translated into me not needing much help. the upshot of it is i did most of the move by myself and i am now exhausted. i really want to just curl up under my desk and go to sleep. but i love the new place! i can't wait to get it all unpacked!
also, mermaid closed this weekend. i will miss her. it was a great experience and the feedback was really positive. the book comes out this week and i'm very excited about that, too.
tonight i have pool league, but i really wish i could go home, pet the 100 year old dog and pass out.
needless to say i have done no knitting. even my arms hurt. owie. i'm walking around like fred sanford and it aint pretty.

where's finberg?

2005-05-26T06:50:00.000-07:00

make me late for work

2005-05-25T06:25:00.000-07:00

i was late to work today b/c i was working on the boucle vest (heretofor known as bloucle). the worsted and the bloucle work really well together. i don't know whether it's b/c it's blue/black on black on a vest or the actual boucle but it has a certain eighties feel to it. which makes it even more perfect for me. ah, the eighties. i look forward to wearing bloucle over a white t-shirt, ripped up acid washed jeans, paint spattered Vans, black Wayfarers and going to a DuranDuran concert. flashback, sorry. that's what happens when you're in the knit zone listening to Rhyme and Reason / Missing Person and you suddenly realize it's 8:30. dag!
big news! i'm moving! to bigger apartment a half a block away. i can't wait. it'll be so nice to have some room. i've liked my little studio but i've been in it for ten years and am so ready for a change! i will probably spend the weekend packing up and maybe just walking stuff over there, since my friend who is moving out will be leaving on saturday. yea!!!

i'd rather be knitting

2005-05-24T08:26:00.000-07:00

have two projects going at the moment. the bob+weave shawl from knitty.com for my friend Connie. am doing it in rio de la plata (the new and cheaper manos) burgundy and burgundy/soft cigar. may not do ribbons. wanted to get the body done first. and it's going so fast i started another project. am combining the boucle my boyznite bud john gave me w/ leftover from flames onyx brown sheep worsted on the petrol knitty.com pattern since the gauge worked out. have been wanting to try to do a sweater in the round and this one seems pretty straight forward. pictures soon. needless to say w/ the weather being as overcast as it is and the job being as slow as it is today, i'd rather be home working on one of these projects. if not trying to figure out how to do both at the same time.
speaking of pictures, below is my leading lady Victoria in the shot that may be the cover for the book. she is ondine in the play within the play. she is awesome and the recipient of the jellyfish tie-end wrap. she has asked me to teach her how to knit. i am a big fan. all hail Victoria!

mermaid sighting! (my leading lady)

2005-05-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

book review

2005-05-23T06:25:00.000-07:00

i finally finished HOLY TERROR: Andy Warhol Close Up by Bob Colacella. I really enjoyed it but I didn't think I'd ever finish it. Not that it was bad. I read really slowly and it's a big book (504p.) full of big pages full of big names. Plowing through long lists of names of people that were at this party or at the Factory when that happened etc was exhasutive. I chipped away at it about ten pages at a time. But I'm glad I made it. Colacella is a compelling writer and it's as much a bio of him starting out in new york and starting up a magazine as it is of warhol. warhol's a difficult subject as well b/c he was so present but not forthcoming, there/not there and, let's face it--a wierdo--but Colacella really illuminates that personality so you see the real dichotomy that made up the man. He writes w/ a palatable mix of compassion and frustration. i feel like i have a real sense of who the man was. And a sense of relief I didn't know him. having gone to an arts school and done a little time in both the fashion and the publishing industries, this is one holy terror i'm glad i missed.
on a more personal note, i'd been carrying that book around since i got it for free when i worked at harpercollins. i moved it from apartment to apartment fully inteding to read it but never getting around to it. i have resolved to actually read the books i have been lugging around. here's one i actually made good on. woo-hoo!

spinning wheels and needle zen

2005-05-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

yesterday was just annoying. going in one direction and being needed in another. and change. and change. wanting to be invisible but getting there only when I want something, not when somebody wants something of me or i don't want to be seen by someone, etc. feeling like i'm being squeezed from all sides w/ nowhere to go. bailed on my plans b/c i didn't want to be w/ people. instead put in a terrible movie from netflix and finished the jellyfish wrap. it' s lovely, but mom may end up w/ the lace scarf. more her style. more importantly, the magical peace of knitting chilled me out. i don't know how it works but it works and i'm grateful for it. so grateful for it.

2 cents plus

2005-05-18T07:14:00.000-07:00

did the interview yesterday and am now more confused than ever. i expected to not like the place and could therefore be dismissive. instead i do like it, feel like i would be a good fit there, but financially can't take it b/c i'd still be working for a temp agency for 2$ less an hour and no benefits. i am going to make myself trust that this is going to work out and that by putting my best foot forward and i am doing the best i can do.
almost done w/ jellyfish wrap which i think will go to my mom on her birthday next week. was going to give the lace scarf, but it needs to be blocked some more and i need to get this in the mail NOW! next up is a yoga matt bag from SnB nation for my friend Robert. read some criticism of Miss Stoller on a couple of blogs yesterday. I can see what you mean, guys. But I don't want to be like the Catholic church and slam something sight unseen. she may not like male crafters but i haven't met her so i don't know. i did have some contact w/ her when i answered a call for people to help organize the book and the response was very form-letter-y. i like the books and own the second one. i use it a lot. the one crit i would have is it's so specifically geared toward girls. not to the point of exclusion, but as a guy i had to work on including myself. i don't know if any of the designs are "classic", but they are fun, wearable and giftable and i've made a lot of them. the appeal to me b/c they're not stodgy or traditional. the first SnB was instramental in getting me further into knitting which is a huge blessing in my life and a gift to my sanity. so that's my 2 cents. debbie stoller may not have written the bible but she is not the devil.

faster, faster

2005-05-17T06:55:00.000-07:00

sunday was mark finley appreication day. meaning after two days of racing around, climbing over people and having smoke coming out of my ears getting from one place to the next to the next i took a day to just do what i wanted to do. i went to the movies--MYSTERIOUS SKIN (which was OK, lovely to look at and some effecting and disturbing scenes, but slow and not incredibly engaging)--and to The Point, a new knit shop/cafe on Bedford and Carmine. I sat and worked on the jellyfish wrap for an hour or so and now it's almost done! I love fast projects and this one really cranked. It was mostly garter stitch on 11's which would explain that. But the fiber change and decreases kept it interesting. I wanted to keep it simple on the mohair b/c i didn't feel like i could easily correct mistakes. the colors are really great! this one may go in my gift/treasure vault. but i have a question for you fiber mavens out there: is there a way to keep mohair from shedding? this piece is going to look so good on basic black, but that'll point up the shedding even more.
everything else in life is baby steps at the moment. i have a interview today for a glamorous job that i can't afford to take (b/c i can't take another pay cut and still pay my benefits). i continue to battle my insurance co and wait to hear from my old job re tax forms and wait to hear from people re a new job and wait to hear from where i'm working now re this job. nothing moves as fast i want it to. i just have to trust that it's moving at it's own rate, a rate i can't see or control. and drink less coffee.

so serious

2005-05-16T08:42:00.000-07:00

cleaves flip off

2005-05-16T08:41:00.000-07:00

cleaves being nice

2005-05-16T08:40:00.000-07:00

delicious mohair

2005-05-16T08:39:00.000-07:00

jellyfish

2005-05-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

side view

2005-05-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

finished loop pillow

2005-05-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

ah, that's better

2005-05-13T07:42:00.000-07:00

thanks, guys, for your comments yesterday. feeling much better today. there are so many good things in my life. it's easy to forget that when i get stressed and short-sighted.
speaking of short-sighted i got some new glasses yesterday which i can't wait to show you. prada, on sale for 79$, hadda have 'em. i have always wanted a pair of big black plastic clark kents. not b/c they're the best look on me but b/c i like them. these are like a smaller version of that. i love them. and yes, they're a little new york gay looking, but hell, truth in advertising.
got a little further on my mohair extravanganza. i'm loving it. the colors work really well together and the texture is a real treat. am going to attempt some more experiments in lace for my portable projects. i found a great fern pattern i want to try in jon's laceweight navy alpaca and i want to make my ca actor friend a white cotton beanie for the beach.
speaking of beach, i can't wait for memorial day so that jones beach will open up! jones is one of my favorite places on earth and i can't wait for the summer to begin!
happy friday, folks!

staircase

2005-05-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

you ever feel like life is this endless staircase and you just keep going up and up and up? that's what i feel like lately. i am suffering from some major fatigue and the metaphor got very physical w/ me last night. lugging my laundry down the stairs, lugging my dog down the stairs and wandering around w/ her for half an hour, lugging her back upstairs to watch her pee on my kitchen floor after half an hour of wandering around w/ her, lugging my laundry that didn't get all the way dry and is therefore heavier back up the stairs. i just feel like i'm climbing further and further and further and i'm exhausted but i keep climbing. and what for? for something to do? why reason over an inaminate object like a staircase. it just is.
i am, however, very excited about the new knit project. holding a mohair and a mohair blend together to cast on was challenging but having gotten the first few rows out of the way, it's falling into place. bob's large dragonfly stitch markers came in very handy when casting 120 stitches onto a size 11 circular and they're so pretty i almost want to keep them as part of the finished garment. the colors of the piece--fucshia and mauve w/ some darker viscouse and a metalic thread--look so good together. and the feel of the mohair is delish. i'm keeping it simple b/c my last mohair experience wasn't great. i couldn't rip out the mistakes w/o damaging the peice, so i ended up starting over several times and ultimately almost running out of material.
anyway, i want nothing more than to curl up on a landing with my knitting and take a vacation from the staircase. but would i keep climbing if i ever got a chance to rest?

ch-ch-changes

2005-05-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

i finished cleaves last night and it came out great! i started weaving in the ends wh/ is a little tricky b/c you have to do that on the front (b/c the cowl part is turned inside out to wear) and it doesn't seem natural. but i'm very pleased with it. what is it with something simple and repetitive? you don't think you're getting anywhere, then you look down and you're like, wow, where did all this garment come from, then the last two rows go on forever trying to get it to the right measurement. anyway, i'm very happy with it. i'm going to get my lovely friend g to model it for me on friday and if she likes it she can keep it, but only if she gets her husband to take a picture of her in it for the blog. as beautiful and R and I are, I don't think we're going to look right in Cleaves. So today I start my next project. The mellow tie one on wrap from knitty in a fuschia mohair MC and a mauve and other colors CC. I wanted to see if I could master the simpler pattern before trying the next one up.
so the woman i want to rent an apartment from called my friend and wants to get in touch w/ me. i really want this apartment but i'm dragging my heels about calling her back. my friend R set my up w/ a job interview and i'm dragging my heels about calling him back. i need this job b/c i need someone to pay my insurance and i need this apartment b/c i've totally outgrown the one i've been in for the last 10 years. so why am i dragging my feet? i guess, i fear change. even if i want it and need it. also, i hate rejection and that's always a risk when you ask for something you want. i know i'll get over it and do what has to be done. if only i didn't have to make the calls. but we all know life doesn't work that way.

laugh-in love

2005-05-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

it was nice to have a night to just chill last night. i did a little bit more work on Cleaves. I'm about three inches away from being done w/ it. i feel like it should be done already. it's just a 2X2 rib on 11's. what's the hold up! i did have that great zen knitting thing going on when i was just crankin' away on it watching laugh-in on Trio. okay, i love that show. i wasn't allowed to watch it when i was a kid, b/c it was "dirty". but I think it had more to do w/ the fact that my parents actually voted for Nixon. what genius to surround whatever you wanted to say about anyone with puns, non-sequitors, sight gags, corniness and self-deprication. you probably couldn't get away with it now. we couldn't at MTV and we were the animation department! i mean, wouldn't you expect irreverence, weirdness and topicality from the MTV animation department? such crap. anyway, i love the dippy goldie, i love the crazy joanne whorley and i am ruth buzzi. i got to meet joann whorley after a show she did at Rainbow and Stars a while back. she was very nice and appropriately nutty. she was supposed to replace Linda Lavin (after Tyne Daly) in Gypsy and word had it that she was the best one b/c she could sing it and act it. never happened.
anyway, below is my book jacket photo. my publisher says a good picture will sell books so i let him have this one and he loved it. the book (the pubished version of THE MERMAID) is supposed to come out this weekend. i am very excited. i looked at the galleys yesterday and it suddenly dawned on me that this is really going to happen. woo-hoo!

portrait of the artist as a younger man

2005-05-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

the raveled sleeve

2005-05-09T06:09:00.000-07:00

i slept so much this weekend it's not funny. i went home from work early on friday (summer hours) and took a quick nap which turned out to be an hour and a half long. then yesterday i did something i haven't done in years and slept past noon! sleeping is great and i love sleeping in, but sleeping in for me is like 9am, b/c i have to get up at 7 everyday. although i was impressed with myself for getting ten hours of sleep in a sitting (is that right? i don't sleep sitting up) i was bummed that half my day had gone by. and what a lovely spring day it was too. i guess that's what stress and stressing about being stressed does to ya.
did something else i haven't done in years. sat down at my computer and wrote! woo-hoo. i have been working on this play...not true, i had an idea for a play and started it...a few years back but haven't been back at it for a long time. i started in on it again yesterday and it was a really good feeling. that's a muscle i would really like to develop again. i used to do an hour a day good bad or indifferent. of course, writing in here helps get things going.
didn't manage to connect w/ my photo phriend, but hopefully will this week. have many new items to post.
netflix is the best thing ever! especially for a late nite knitter. i call it knitflix. this weekend i checked out Shaun of the Dead (loved it) and Being Julia (okay, what was the point of that, other than to give AB a project?) someday i will finish my Andy Warhol book and will able to report on it. it's not like it's a tough read, but i can only get thru 10 pages or so at a time. names, names, names, sweetie. it should be going faster than it is, but what isn't, except work.
i need a nap.

whew!

2005-05-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

well, the mermaid, she is swimming...last night went really well. i don' t know how they got it to look so good and sound so good with one dress/tech and two run thru's but they did it. i'm a lucky, lucky guy. a lot a people worked really hard to make this happen and i am eternally grateful.
will not be going to boyznite tonight b/c i have a friend coming to the show and need to be able to hang out. i haven't missed a friday nite since feb b/c it's the high light of my week. but maybe i can check out the new men's group on sunday nights at the point.
haven't done a whole lotta knitting although i'm chuggin' along on Cleaves. So simple it should have been done by now. i also need to put the loop pillow together and blocknig branching out so I can send it to my mommy.
oh, and sleeping. sleeping would be good.

Bob Rocks and counting down...

2005-05-05T10:28:00.000-07:00

First of all, Bob in Cincy rocks! Thanks for all those beautiful dragonfly stitch markers! I will post some pics this weekend (we have the technology). I may wear one around my neck on a chain tonight for good luck. The chocolate, however, is not long for this world.
Went to rehearsal last night which was not in the theater (a typical off-off broadway snafu). But the director was hard at work w/ the cast who seemed in good spirits. I am looking forward tonight on a number of levels. Mainly, to get the first one out of the way. I really hate opening nights as an actor b/c I'm so nervous and it's such a false high which make the next performance ultimately a let down. As a director, they're kind of sad b/c ideally that's when you let it go and let the actors have it. As a playwright, I don't know what I feel yet. I've been told that at the New York Theatre Workshop, it's one of the intern's jobs to keep the playwright and the director out of the theater until the opening night performance is over. Can I have an intern please? Preferably a really cute one? Instead of a bar, can we go to a motel? I am trying very hard not to count down the hours or sweat out what's going to happen tonight b/c ultimately there's nothing I can do about it.
Other than that, what's new in my world? I got my hair cut very short yesterday which I really like. Also, I made a openwork (face it, Mary, it's lace) beanie to wear in the summer time out of the blue Alpaca Jon sent me. More pictures coming! Cleaves is a great TV project and is going pretty fast. I just haven't had that much time to devote to it. The girl who I'm covering for here at work never showed up so I may be here indefintely. Which is good. Lots of blogging time. Wish I could knit here, though, but I think that would be tantamount to writing I HAVE NOTHING TO DO on the wall behind me.

nervous nelly

2005-05-04T07:50:00.000-07:00

well, tomorrow is the big day. my play, THE MERMAID, opens. i went to rehearsal last night and it was tough. tough because we're having technical problems, tough because i wish we had a couple more days to smooth them out and tough to just sit there and listen to my words. it's been a while since i've been in this position and i'd forgotten how particularly unique it is. the whole thing begins with the playwright, then the playwright hands it over to the director and the playwright is effectively done, then the director hands it over to the actors and he's effectively done, then the actors have to carry it. but none of it would have existed if it weren't for the playwright. but, that's the process, that's the biz, that's the nature of the beast whose belly i'm in. it was great to see and hear the play in there, though. the design team and director have done very very well. so it's exciting, scary, nervous-making. in short, i hate this part.
incidently, on my way home from the rehearsal i was thinking the last time i had a play produced in ny i had to stay drunk b/c the lead didn't bother to learn the lines and it was the only way i thought i could watch the process and not kill him, the director or myself, so i'd sit in the back of the theater clutching a flask and a photo of my dead lover muttering please, please, please. just as i was thinking this i look up and saw this guy trying to stagger across ninth avenue. He thought better of it, doubled over and puked his guts out. and i thought thank you for that visual reminder of how much better my life is today. anyway, send us happy thoughts tomorrow!!!

lace detail-branching out

2005-05-03T11:57:00.000-07:00

stash skull cap

2005-05-03T11:56:00.000-07:00

cowl closer up

2005-05-03T11:55:00.000-07:00

FINALLY

2005-05-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

okay, i finally figured out how to do this. thanks to emily and the good people at photobucket who actually do provide some customer support I was able to post the pix below. not all of them came out but now that i know how to do it and that it will work there will be many more to come. thanks also to tres for trying so hard and franklin and sean for keepin' the faith. these were taken by my friend robert who appears in the thong pic at his fabulous village apartment. we were being very retarded but having fun. i always think i look better than i actually do, but now you can judge for yourselves. anyway, i am happy to have joined the visual world of knitting and sharing and look forward to your sage comments.

loop pillow detail

2005-05-03T08:13:00.000-07:00

loop pillow top

2005-05-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

mermaid scarf detail

2005-05-03T08:09:00.000-07:00

French Lieutenant's Cowl

2005-05-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

flamer in flames

2005-05-03T08:06:00.000-07:00

thong

2005-05-03T07:56:00.000-07:00

my broken heart

2005-05-03T07:47:00.000-07:00

2005-05-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

2005-05-03T07:30:00.000-07:00

2005-05-03T07:20:00.000-07:00

Photobucket

2005-05-03T07:08:00.000-07:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

bits and pieces

2005-05-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

Blog fun from Colleen's website.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

I had to cheat a little bit b/c I'm at work and don't have a book beside me, but my bag is beside me so I reached into it and pulled out:

HOLY TERROR: Andy Warhol Close Up by Bob Colacello

and I got

"Marion Javits, the Senator's wife, was horrified."

Started Cleaves from Knitty. Is almost instant gratification. I'm doing it in that color blue too. Seafoam is too washed out and green. Looks like toothpaste remains.
Am blocking Branching Out scarf from same issue and am going to do Tie One On next.

My play opens Thursday. Yipe!

so close

2005-04-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

tres is helping me out w/ posting pix so hopefully it won't be too long. i've also got my friend R on it too. he's the one who took the pix and is really into it. he's like, hurry up and knit more so i can take more pictures. i did finish the lace scarf last night and am going to block it tonight. also finished the back of the loop pillow so now it's ready to be assembled. maybe i'll do that tonight b/c i'm in between projects. my friend jon gave me 6+ skeins (120 yrds apiece) of this pretty black/blue boucle wool/mohair and a little orlon. i'd love to make a sweater out of it on a circular but i'm worried i won't have enough yarn. should i do a vest? i've never made a garment on a circular before (other than a hat).
reading went great this weekend. i have such talented people in my company. and yipe my play opens on the 5th!

technotard strikes again

2005-04-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

okay, so i was at my buddy robert's place taking picture all night and have been trying all morning to get them on here. i wish i were not so techntarded. i seem to be doing everything right. the pictures are sending, i just don't know where they're sending too. not here at least. am i missing some basic thing?

night of the thong

2005-04-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

i finished the thong last night and found some elastic to go in it, so hopefully it will model-ready very soon. this was our cruise director at boyznite's idea of a spring project. i think we should have a model search and a float in the pride parade. i actually like the way it looks. not on me, just in general.
i have a night off tonight and nothing from netflix so i'm going to take some time and figure out what when wrong in the lace pattern. i have this giant hole in it and i can't figure out where it came from.
i have done nothing at work today other than try to stay awake in a training session. not that i'm complaining. it just makes for a really long day.
welcome back to Franklin!

lace zone, temporarily

2005-04-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

thanks for advice guys. i did go back and start over and it helped out a lot. I worked on it at BoyzNite and got halfway thru (14 repeats). then started in on it the next day and did something screwy with it which i haven't been able to figure out yet. in the meantime, i've been working on the back of the loop stitch pillow wh/ is a bias garter stitch so its good to watch tv with. and the BoyzNite spring project-- the Thong. That's right. The Thong. I've started it three times and I think I've finally got it right. I learned how to do short rows so the front is all done. I should be done w/ the waist band today or tomorrow. I am NOT going to model it though.
Speaking of Boyznite, there's an article in this weeks US News and World Report (Charles and Camilla on the cover) about knitting across the country and I'm in the picture. Behind the three guys in the foreground looking at the camera like a goof. That's me! Check it out!

lace is like life

2005-04-14T06:28:00.000-07:00

i had to go on for my actor again on tuesday. i did ok, but there were a couple of people in the audience that i didn't think were going to be there and when i heard them laugh it kind of thru me. i did okay, but i wasn't as focussed as usual and i screwed up a couple of times. as my scene partner reminded me after the show, thanks jack! anyway, it was fun. i will miss it.
am about two thirds of the way done with the branching out scarf. i seem to have stitches disappear. i don't drop them, they just kind of go away. i feel like i know the pattern well enough to fake it or repair it and it doesn't seem to be affecting how it looks. just aggravating. like like. i'm doing everything right, why isn't this coming out perfectly?

theatrical weekend

2005-04-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

went on for my actor last night and friday. it was a little nerve racking at first, but it was fun and it went well. i remember why i got into this theater mess in the first place. b/c it's the rush you can't get anywhere else. saw Streetcar named Desire on Saturday and actually quite liked it. john c reilly is an excellent actor who i got to see do some excellent acting. odd choice for stanley, but hey. what a pleasure to see that play done so well and in its entirety. makes you remember the play is a star, not just brando and leigh. and my friend in the cast mentions me in his bio. my broadway debut!!! had first readthru of the play i wrote on sunday. needs some work but it's exciting. for all the grousing that i do, i realized yesterday that i get to be an actor, playwright and director in NYC and that's something to be grateful for.
boyznite was very fun last week. crowded. check out jon's blog http://www.thejonblog.com/knit/ for more details and an interesting poll of a question that came up (so to speak). finished the front of the loop stitch pillow (which looks alot like a shag rug). the back, which is a bias garter stitch is my portable project. my home project is the branching out lace scarf from the new knitty http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEspring05/PATTbranchingout.html . am a laceaphobe so this is good practice. i think i've gotten to understand the pattern after two tries and four repeats of it. it's actually starting to look like the picture! when i'm done with it, i'll wrap it around a vase. i'm completely obsessed by it so it's not the greatest netflix watching project.

book review and a question

2005-04-06T06:29:00.000-07:00

finished MAGICAL THINKING by Augusten Burroughs. Liked it a lot. His stuff is really funny and touching and true. Reminds me of David Sedaris and Dan Savage. Very readable and digestable and entertaining. Having read DRY and read a lot about RUNNING WITH SCISSORS, it was kind of like reading the third part of a story that comes out happily. He writes very honestly. I was constantly saying, I can't believe you said that, but thank GOd you did! Liked it a lot and recommend.
questions: Will I ever have email at home? More specifically, will I ever get pictures upon this blog? Was on hold w/ Verizon DSL for close to an hour yesterday and nobody got to me, so I said fuck it, I'll try again in the morning. Of course, I didn't. Maybe I should take a day off so thatI can be on hold all day. Between that and the battery in my borrowed camera kicking and having no way to recharge, my internet friend never around when i can be, I wonder if I'll ever get going with this. Frankly, I"m sick of it. I'm going to give Verizon one more try and then start working on how to cancel my account. Why pay for something I haven't been able to use?

wipe out!

2005-04-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

this was a weekend i need a weekend to recover from. all good stuff, just no rest for the wicked. none. i'm wiped out.
finished aiblihn at boyznite. it's lovely! started one of the pillows in snb nation. the loop pattern. i have a bunch of yarn that a friend gave me that her mother gave her that she didn't know what to do with but didn't want to get rid off. she gave it to me like 2 years ago and i've had the same problem. i was going to make a throw out of it, but when i remembered i almost poked my eyes out with a circular needle this last time i made an afghan out of sheer boredom, i figured there must be something else to do w/ it. the loop stitch will eat yarn, it's already shaping up to look quite interesting and show off the yarn to it's best advantage. and it's different. i always like to try to learn something new with every new project. should go pretty fast to.
auditioning for my play sat and sun. exciting buy really uncomfortable to hear your words tossed back at you all day. we're closed to being finished casting, but not quite yet.
went to go see Easy Living at the filmforum w/ my best bud, mr. internet, who i never see anymore b/c we're both working girls. then b/w going to see John W at his east side cabaret debut and going to an anniversary party and another performance of the play i directed, i had no time to just chill that didn't involved sleeping. none. so yes, it was fun but i guess i am old b/c all i want to do is SLEEP!

a break in the clouds

2005-03-30T11:54:00.000-08:00

it's too beautiful outside. I just came in from lunch. I ate really quickly in the cafeteria here then went over to a nearby park, sat out in the spring sunshine and knitted for about forty minutes. fantastic! I love when the weather is like this. it seems like it's ninty degrees after the weather we've had, even though it's only sixty. i'll take it!
have been extended here for two more weeks. what a relief.
am making a lot of progress on aiblehn. may even be done with it by the weekend. i need to shop some materials w/ my friend Mark b/c he has commissioned a sweater from me. it's the Sam's vest from Simply Beautiful Sweaters for Men from Tricoter. I made one for myself last year at this time and he wants one and is willnig to pay! His will probably come out much nicer than mine since I've made it once before.
we opened the show last night and everyone came thru w/ flying colors. whew! i wish our show wasn't such a total change of pace from the other two and last on the bill, but that's not my call. oh, well. my older actor remembered all his lines, my second lead kept up the pace and my lead led the way. but the drama isn't over, folks. my second lead can't make two of the shows next week so I"m filling in. that's right! buy your tickets now! yipe. it seemed like the easiest thing to do other than recast, but now it's suddenly occurring to me that I'm going to actually do it. oh, well, the show must go on. and on. and on. i have a night off tonight, so i will go see one of the other shows at the theater, then go home and knit to netflix. tonight jules et jim. never seen it.
oh and i even got paid yesterday from the theater. sweet!

book review and more work

2005-03-29T07:47:00.000-08:00

finished reading John Rechy's City of Night. I had heard of John Rechy from various sources and saw this book on the top 100 gay books. I thought it was kind of interesting. I can see how some reviewers have called it dated. It was published in 1963 so it predates Stonewall and the underworld it surveys would have been quite scandalous. I think nowadays we're more immune to drugs and sex. his take on intimacy, masculinity and sexual compulsion are accurate and timeless though. his use of language is creative and interesting and i found the book compelling. i kept with it. so, classic? I don't know. worth reading, definitely.
dress rehearsal last night and there's a little dissention in the ranks. i'm working w/ an older actor who has a little trouble w/ line retention. when he's on he's great. he's just not consistant. this has my lead climbing the walls. i called him (my lead) last night after the run b/c clearly there was something bothering him and reassured him that i'd taken this tack for a reason (which he saw) and that we would get past this together(which we will). it's just going to take more work w/ the older actor and that we're going to have to be infinitely patient b/c the minute we put him on the defensive, he's not going to be able to get there and if is continues to beat on himself, he's not going to get there. so more work. didn't want to run it again last night b/c I didn't want the actors to feel like i was punishing them. we'll just have to work through it today before the show. not impossible, just more work.
more work on aiblehn, too. went almost a full round when I realized that my marker had fallen out and i couldn't tell where the new round starts. not good for a swirling rib, so i had to frog it back stitch by stitch this morning. at least, I will be able to pick it up again easily. i wish someone would pay me to drink coffee and knit all day (my gig is going to end here Friday).

monday, monday

2005-03-28T08:35:00.000-08:00

aren't grey rainy mondays a treat? the tech went well. it was not quick, but i am immensely popular at this theater b/c i'm flexible, appreciative and personable as opposed to some of the folks I share the bill w/. didn't go to boyznite but my friend John called me on SUnday to check in. Saturday was our reading of Dog Opera by Constance Congdon and I get a phone call from one of my actors, deathly ill, so i have to replace her before 3. luckily my friend and wonderful actor Jamie stepped in and the reading went great! looks like we'll produce this next year! then rehearsal for the thing i was teching on friday just to do some fine tuning acting wise. so by the time i got home i was wiped. a friend lent me the dvd of Dead Ringer (w/ Bette Davis) w/ commentary by Boze Hadliegh and Charles Busch so I knitted and watched that. Am about halfway done w/ Aiblihn and really learning a lot about it even though it's a pretty simple 3K3P twisting rib. It's actually going pretty fast, I might even be done by next week. I was working on a little openwork beanie for myself, but i got about halfway done, realized I didn't like it and pitched it. I wasn't crazy about the yarn. doesn't even make good practice yarn b/c you can't see the stitchwork. Sunday I had several sets of plans that got cancelled, first a lunch date and later Streetcar (they cancelled the performance b/c of an actors schedule, wha...?). Just as well though b/c all I really wanted to do was hibernate. Hung out w/ the old doggie who is hanging in there and very sweet and smiley. No accidents.
needless to say Mr. Internet and I didn't connect. His social calendar is always full, full, full. You have to book MONTHS in advance. And no, not my boyfriend, but everyone thinks we are or should be. Not happenin' though. Too much like incest.

a very good friday

2005-03-25T06:15:00.000-08:00

to everyone. this is a good friday for me b/c both my bosses are out of the office today so I'm only staying in for half the day. it feels like spring is struggling through the clouds out there and even though it's still cold it's not miserable. there's hope. yesterday was all about showing up. work, dr, dr, work, meeting, rehearsal so i was glad when i was able to get home watch the end of Night of the Demon (good if you like 1957 horror movies) do a few more rows of ablihn and chill. rehearsal was arduous and i figured it would be. we've had a week off due to scheduling conflicts and we open on tuesday, but everybody was in good spirits and stepped up and we're chugging along. i'll be glad when we're running, for some reason casting and scheduling this one was a BEAR! I can use a break. we tech tonight so i think it's pretty safe to say i'm not going to go to boyznite. which is a drag b/c that's kind of the highlight of my week. it's so great to just chill out and knit with a bunch of other guys. such good energy. i've met some really terrific people that i wouldn't have met otherwise. people on the street walk by and look in the window pointing, amazed and amused. i don't get the novelty of a room full of guys knitting, but that's because i'm in it. still, people, it's not feeding time at the zoo. have a little class. would I ooo and ahhh at an all-girl construction team? no. but I wouldn't walk by wearing tight pants, either. animals! speaking of animals, the dog was ok today. she took forever to settle down to go to sleep last night but this morning i rolled out of bed, threw on a coat and out we went. so no accidents. when i get home we will take a little nap. sounds like a good friday to me.

dog toilet

2005-03-24T06:48:00.000-08:00

poor daisy. she was having such a good day and then as I was in the shower she had accidents #1 and #2. she was doing better until yesterday so i thought I could get off my roll out of bed and take the dog out schedule (particularly since it's not exactly spring yet) but that apparently is not the case. so, for the moment i live in a dog toilet. but hopefully with a little more attention and love we can get through this too.
finished the gift bag i've been working on from last minute knitted gifts. it's cute. when i do it again, and i will b/c it was easy and a great use for stash yarn, i will make the bottom half longer than the top (the pattern calls for them to be equal but the top doesn't roll down that significantly). And the pattern called for a three needle bind off for the bottom done by folding the circular in half and using a third needle. this was a major pain in the ass. when I do it again, i'll do a few stitches on the circular and then swith to dpns so the stitches can be bound off easier and won't slip off the needles.
also did more on the cowl, which i'm lovin'.
yesterday was all about showing up. though i'm tired and my stalling self wants to not do anything, i find if do things in little peices things get done and they aren't overwhelming.
camera i borrowed to take pics for this site doesn't work. am i cursed? i know machines don't like me, but this is ridiculous. i think on easter i'm going to go over to my friend Mr. internet's house with a bag full of knitting and get this stuff posted. who knows, maybe he'll even model for you...

spring grey

2005-03-23T06:08:00.000-08:00

The seasons are definitely changing here in Manhattan. It's warmer although it doesn't really feel warm yet. I marched to work today under a grey cloudy sky with hints of rain in it. I checked to weather yesterday and it's supposed to rain for a week. That actually doesn't bother me. I've been completely exhausted lately and a grey day is an excuse for nesting, knitting and netflix. I had big plans for last night, but wound up getting the runaround from verizon, watching the incredibles (really good) and putting in some inches on the cowl. I'm liking this pattern. I"m kind of at the point where I've cracked the code. You know, the place where you get when you can pick it up at any point and know exactly where you are and if you screw up you can find exactly where it happened and fix it or fudge it. In the zone. Haven't worked with cotton in a while and I'm liking it. This piece is really interesting. I like the flow of it and it blows me away that it's going to come out of few balls of kite string.
Daisy had a bad day today. She''s been waking up in the middle of the night disoriented and she has trouble getting around b/w her arthitis and her balance problem so until she gets situated again, I'm awake, too. Then I guess I didn't get her outside in time b/c she peed in the living room. After cleaning that up, I thought well at least I can get dressed for work and not have to worry. So took her outside when I was dressed. She did #2 but then her legs gave out and she fell back into it, so she then had beige dog poo all over her back legs. So I had to figure out how to carry her upstairs w/o getting any poo on my work clothes and how to get it off her. I ended running the bath over her which she hated but it was fast and relatively poo free. I love my dog and have for 15 years but times when it's this much work i just want to scream.

grand central

2005-03-22T06:06:00.000-08:00

i walk thru grand central station on my way to this temp gig every day. it kind of the highlight of the commute. when i first moved to NY about 15 years ago, gc was not so nice. kind of rotting on its hinges, then inthe early mid ninties they started renovating it so it looked worse, always under wraps and construction like someone in a body cast. but since the bandages have come off, it's really so nice. yes, it's not quite as hoipoloi friendly, meaning, the bar on the first floor isn't a cheap place you can meet your friends and people watch anymore, but i don't drink any more anyway. the light is so great through the upper windows. the other day i was in a particularly self defeating mood as i trudged into this temp gig and as i turned into the hallway towards lexington avenue i was stuck by the color of the light coming across the tiled ceilings and how the street performers music really filled the place with welcome sound. it made me think of when i was in paris a couple of years ago and that very pleasant memory coasted me into my workday. so thank you power that is for the grand central station.
had to do laundry last night on my first of two actual nights off and that ate up most of my evening. i did manage to get home in time for Sanford and Son and to watch a movie I netflixed called Jupiter's Wife. it's this documentary about a woman living in central park. at first i was thinking oh, great, another crazy, i can walk out my front door for this, but it's actually an unexpectedly good story. i recommend. and i did about another inch and a half on the cowl. so, all good. a peaceful evening. which is ultimately what i needed. i wonder if non-knitters ever know the Zen this little activity brings.

promises, promises

2005-03-21T07:33:00.000-08:00

I know I said pictures by this weekend. Well, it didn't happen. Got too busy and too fatigued. I actually have a night off tonight, so maybe I can get Verizon on the phone and see if they can connect my DSL so I can stop blogging on the QT at work! hmmm
busy weekend. the Wallowitch show closed on Saturday. it was great. John played it wh/ made it a completely different show. auditioned people for a play I wrote which is starting production in April. forgot how weird it is to sit in a room and listen to people you don't know read words that you wrote all afternoon. oddly personal and impersonal at the same time. like sex. new york is so full of fantastic actors! (thank God).
modelled flames at boyznite. glad i finished it in time to wear it a few times before the weather starts warming up. am now working on the aibleen cowl from http://www.knitty.com. It's starting to look like something. I was just going to make it to make it, but I think I'm going to give it to my mother. I'd like to give it to her in person and watch her try to figure out what it is. sorry mom. and i know how to make bobbles now! i try to learn something new w/ each project and now, I am the bobble-master....
adding to list of books finished. Jane and The Ghosts of Netley by Stephanie Barron. Completely entertaining mystery/adventure yarn in Barron's Jane Austen series. I needed something fun, I'd just finished reading This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald. So it was fun and cozy. I liked it. Good snow day reading.

slow news day

2005-03-18T08:47:00.000-08:00

flames was a big hit yesterday. am bringing it tonight to boyznite for more glory. was working on a nubble pattern pillow to get rid of some stash yarn when i was met by a canine caused domestic emergeny and somehow the yarn got in the way. at first i was bummed but then thought, you know what I"m not crazy about this yarn. hence, I haven't really done anything with it. so i will probably pitch it. it served its purpose. i've made several nice things out of it, but it's time has come i think. and i learned how to make bobbles with it. i started on a small gift bad from Last Minute Knitted Gifts. which is pretty much 3" stockinett on a small circ, an eyelet row and then 3 more inches, bind off and tie off w/ icord. figured it would be a good netflix project since it's no basic. it'll be cute, too. and portable.
st. p's come and gone. i dealt pretty well, I think. After the show I went straight home, not to hide, just to rest. the streets get a little scary in my neighborhood on this day. people coming from miles around just to get trashed. it's not as creepy as New Years Eve, but it's up there. just didn't feel like hassling w/ people. so before and after the canine accident I got a little peace and quiet, which is better than none.
nothing else to report.

debut-iful!

2005-03-17T07:13:00.000-08:00

am wearing flames as i write this and i love it. i fixed the neck last night and now it's loose and comfortable. i have a longsleeved baseball shirt underneath it b/c it pretty ichy, but it's also plenty warm!!!
so where are the pictures? machines hate me. i had a friend over who was trying to get me online and we got all the way to activate account and it froze. everytime we tried it. so annoying.
so will try to post from a friends house if not tonight then definitely this weekend.
hoping the day goes by soon. it's another long one. totally forgot that it was the anniversary of Don's death unitl i saw all the cops on 5th avenue and it reminded me of trying to get home that day.Fellini-esq nightmare

debut-iful

2005-03-17T06:58:00.000-08:00

am wearing flames as i write this. i love it. it fits perfectly. i was up until 1 redoing the neck and it's great now. not only can i get my head through without breaking my nose, but it doesn't cling around my neck like a noose. before i fixed it i showed it to a friend of mine and told him what i was going to do and he said, yeah, that does look a little small. if a non-knitter can see it, it must have been tiny. now it is glamourous. i have a longsleeved baseball shirt underneath b/c it's a little itchy, but it is warm, warm, warm. i'm psyched that it fits to well. it is making a successful debut. i have to take it to boyznite tomorrow of course.
so where are the pictures? okay, my friend was over trying to get me online. we got all the way thru the installation process when it froze at the account set up window. i know it's not the newest computer in the world, but come on! so fucking frustrating. last night was supposed to be my night off and this poor guy was over at my place trying to get the f-ing computer to work till nine o'clock. what a good friend. so, i'm going to take some pics tonight and see if can download them from someone's house tonight. if not, sunday. so aggravating.
why do sick people come to work and cough on everyone and everything? i know if you don't work you don't get paid, but i don't want to get sick!!!
so far so good w/ today. i totally forgot what day it was until i saw the police lining fifth avenue on my way to work this morning. reminds me of when i got the call that Don had passed and I was trying to get home and they wouldn't let me across fifth avenue. there i was surrounded by screaming drunk people with shamrocks painted on their faces as i'm frantically looking for a break in the crowd so i can dart across the street. it was like being trapped in a fellini movie only it felt way more german expressionist. i have a very busy day today so hopefully it will go fast.

it works!

2005-03-16T07:01:00.000-08:00

thanks for the casting on advice, guys. i tried the bind off method i'd read up about on this nubble pattern i started and it actually works! woo-hoo! I am going to take the last row out of flames and rebind off tonight, so I won't break my nose putting the thing on and taking it off.
didn't knit at all yesterday and am definitely jonesing for it. had one of those annoying back to back to back days. work/meeting/work/rehearsal/playoffs (we got killed). glad it's over. actually my whole month is like that. but that' s good i guess. march is a long one and with so much activity it's flying by.
tomorrow is the anniversary of my partner's death in 1994. wow 11 years and it can still stop me in my tracks. i think i'm feeling it a bit more acutely b/c i'm finally taking care of myself. but all this activity makes it easier to get through and harder to wallow. and i know he would be very proud of me.

going to kill my mother

2005-03-15T06:57:00.000-08:00

okay, i've done a little research on binding off and discovered that yes, i have been doing it the wrong way. i have just been looping over stitches not knitting them and then looping them over. no wonder that neck is so tight. also, i could never understand what bind off in pattern meant b/c i thought there was only one way to do it. arg. my mother taught me to knit a long time ago. so she taught me how to knit backwards (i used to always knit into the back of the stitch), purl backwards (i used to loop the yarn under the needle, not over) and bind off super super tight. i have always suspected that my casting method wasn't right (i do a long tail loop method with one needle.) now I am terrified that may be true. oh, all this dangerous knowledge! thanks a lot, Ma!!! actually, she probably never figured I would persist as a knitter and never was much ofone herself, so I cast no blame. Hell, maybe, if she's interested, I'll teach her.
pictures are coming soon! maybe as soon as Thursday! (yes, MarQ1 that is an Alison Moyet reference. have been a little obsessed lately.) am definitely doing to redo the collar w/ my newfound knowledge, but that shouldn't take that long.
Jesse's Flames Sweater is from Stitch N Bitch Nation. I'm going to make this bobbled cowl I found on Knitty, start a vest for my friend I"ve made before from Tricoter Simply Beautiful Sweaters for men. want to make this nubbled pillowcase from SNB Nation and knitted giftbag from Last Minute Knitted gifts.
I'm so tired. I feel that I"m spread a little thin and this fucking cold weather doesn't help. I WANT TO GO THE BEACH!!!

flame on!

2005-03-14T06:55:00.000-08:00

I got a little obsessed this weekend and I finished the flame sweater! I know I know where are the pix. They're coming! I'm very happy w/ it except that i bound the neck off a little too tight so I may have to rip that part out and redo it. But it fits great and since I made it out of lambs pride and not woolese it's very very warm. okay it's hot. but it's a flame sweater right? It needs to be hot.
So here I am without a project. I found a great pattern on Knitty for a cowl w/ a swirling rib and bobbles on the edging. I've never done bobbles before and i always try to push myself with every project. i don't know. knit ny just had a huge yarn sale maybe i'll get inspired. so glad to be done though!
Any notes on binding off? I always manage to do it too tight and it really screws up the tension of the piece on that side.

how winter kills

2005-03-11T06:38:00.000-08:00

i'm over yesterday. went to the show last night and it's really good. i have to remember that there are things in my life that are good, very good and that the most important thing for me to do is stay on the path and not get detoured by emotional hoo-ha. it's so easy to get sidetracked by the things that you don't have and completely not see the things you do have. at least it is for me. plus i'm tired and this f-ing weather doesn't seem to want to let up. i know it's always like this, but it always affects me like this. come on already w/ the spring! spring in new york city is something else! even if it only lasts for a week.
so close to being done w/ all the pieces of flames. only three more rows of intarsia, then continuing the decrease on both sides to the last 8 stitches. was going to block the front and the back last night but the back's dimensionas are perfect and only the top of the front needed to be stretch out about an inch. i'm a little worried that the sleeves will be a little long, but i won't know until their done. which they almost are. then it'll be sewing central. yum!

no time

2005-03-10T07:06:00.000-08:00

did very little work on flames yesterday which means I can finish up tomorrow at boyznite. Did like maybe four more rows like one more increase, three more rows w/ red and 18 more of intarsia. would ahve done more last night but i was tired. work was slow which makes it go real slow. went to a play last night. orson's shadow at the barrow street playhouse. it came from chicago. i really liked it. we knew someone in it and she wonderful. hard though to be around people that really do this. I direct constantly and run a theater company, but i haven't managed to make that my bill paying career, so sometimes it's hard to be around people who are doing what I want to do. I see what loneliness does to people. I feel like I missed out on 10 years and spin into a where the hell am i going with my lfie? what the hell am I doing? i always want to jump forward and worry, so i am trying very hard to stay in this moment, this day.
am giong to rip out the great hat.

girl, you is tired

2005-03-09T13:02:00.000-08:00

Have about twenty more rows to go on the flames sleeve. have resigned myself to the fact that i'll be constructing the sweater at boyz nite which is ok b/c i can't really watch tv and sew. i just don't like sewing. i've been told that's what the great thing about sweaters in the round is. no seams. it will probably be good to put the thing together at bn because i can get some expert advice from my knittin' sistahs.
it's so freaking cold here. i can't wait until it's time to go back to the beach again. i really want to hibernate. so tired and achy. i can imagine how my creaky old dog feels. at least she has someone to carry her up and down the stairs. she has been an old sweetie these days. not too many accidents in the house and very cuddly. ever the attention whore.
show is going well and rehearsing for the new one, a short play for a one act festival called INVISIBLE. it plays with the notion that gay men become invisible on their fortieth birthday and can only be seen by other gay men over forty. it's a fun play and the cast is good. i'm just so wiped out. I get paranoid that i'm not doing my best work b/c it's so hard to get up for it. I have to remember i always get like this. that it's a process. etc. i'm just so tired....

end in sight

2005-03-08T09:09:00.000-08:00

i am about halfway done with the second sleeve on flames. then i have to duplicate stitching to do. will block the front and back tonight. can't believe i'm almost done with this. would love to get it finished before friday b/c i don't want to be doing construction at boyznite. i'm going to want space and last week we were standing room only. which was very cool.

i felt that!

2005-03-07T07:31:00.000-08:00

a while back an actress of mine gave me three skeins of yarn as an opening night present. It was beutiful stuff matching green, dark brown and camel tweed. I made a long horizonatal garter stitch scarf and had enough left over to make a watch cap. The scarf still looks great, but the watch cap got completely stretched out so that it wouldn't hold a shape all and started to look like a Zelda Fitzgerald cloche. I was doing my laundry yesterday and I thought, oh, what the hell i'll throw the hat in there and see what happens. Well, it felted up perfectly. It came out the size of a skull cap just over the ears wih no rolls, you can see all the colors, the texture is beautiful and it fits like a glove.
I'm so happy with it. Not only am I over my fear of felting, but I have my fabulous matching hat again.
two of the plays i directed last year were published and i went to the book launch for them. the hshow currently running was better than ever. we got a glowing review and yours truly got mentioned. love it when that happens b/c not everyone notices direction. i am very tired, though. i didn't do much more than the launch and a rehearsal on saturday, i'm just drained. i made a nehru hat (basically a rectangular panel of super chunky roving yarn in a moss stitch) but it came out funny. both funny ha-ha and funny wierd). it may wind up being a purse. of can always felt it....